Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Utica chapter.



Each and every day, we have a choice. We have the choice to make it the best we can be, and be the best versions of ourselves we truly deserve. Recently, I have been dealing with self-esteem and how much I want my life to be more than I am settling for. I began to think about truths that would change my life the way I need it to be. As we move through 2021, even when it is hard, we reach a point where you stop your thoughts from being so destructive, so unhealthy for your mind, body, and energy. 

Here are the cold, hard truths:


  1. Your attitude matters.

Your thoughts have so much power over your thoughts, your words, actions, and emotions. Remember to start each day with a grateful heart, be optimistic and face any challenges head-on that comes your way each day. 

  1. You don’t have to be good at everything. 

You don’t have to be the best to enjoy something. It could be a new hobby, or a new sport, etc. and you just don’t get it. It’s ok. You won’t get it on the first try. Trying to be enthusiastic when trying new things is better than being good at doing it. Try again & be eager to learn new things. 

  1. Don’t strive for perfection. 

Strive for your best and your best only. 

  1. Things won’t always work the way we want them to.

This is because life never makes sense. I have realized that everything happens for a reason and we may not even understand why it has happened. Find meaning from them. There is a purpose for everything you are happy about, stressed about, and confused about but remember it is not your job to find the purpose right away. 

  1. You don’t have to have every single thing figured out.

If you are like me, you probably wish you had the rest of your life planned right now. You also look at someone and think that they have it all figured out for themselves. Many people DON’T have it figured out just yet, in fact, none of us really have it figured out. Be patient, and wait for your destined plan to unfold. 

  1. Social media does not share real stories. 

Social media can have its benefits: sharing ideas, keeping in touch with those you can’t see every day, or talk to. It is more harmful than good. It can be fake, photoshopped, staged, and untruthful. You’re not alone in feeling the struggle of wanting social media vs needing it. 

  1. It’s okay to have a small circle. 

Surround yourself with people who appreciate you, understand you and your mental health, who make you feel like sunshine. Choose good ones, you’ll know when they are, and don’t let them go. 

  1. Not everyone needs access to your life. 

This is simply being mindful of the boundaries you create. Remove followers, delete the phone number, and be ok if they do the same. It’s ok to be the villain to someone else’s story. 

  1. Do what is good for your soul.

By soul, I mean you and your energy. Take the time for your soul and mental health because they go hand in hand. Find what works for you. Take a nap, go for a drive, eat some ice cream, or write. As long as it is YOUR thing. 

  1. You have a purpose.

People constantly strive to find their purpose in life and in this world. You may not know where to start, where it will take you, or where it comes from. Believe that EVERYONE has a purpose. Try new things, accept failure sometimes, fall down and get back up again. You will find it. 

  1. You do not have to please everyone. 

You do not exist to please everyone. Tell people no. Tell them if they hurt your feelings. Pleasing everyone makes you exhausted, stressed, and run-down.  

  1. Listen. 

Listen to those around you, figure out why they say what they say. Remember that people need someone to listen more than they want the advice and feedback. 

  1. It’s ok to let go & it’s okay to do it on your time. 

Letting go can be one of the hardest things to do. Letting go of a friendship, a relationship, an ex, or a grudge. Heal on your terms and move forward when you are ready and don’t let anyone rush you doing so. 

  1. Setting boundaries does not make you a mean person. 

This is a hard truth but it is something I have had to constantly tell myself time and time again because, like me, you are probably a people pleaser. There is simply nothing wrong with making YOU happy. The constant worry of disappointing others and making them happy is only disappointing ourselves in the end. I’m here to say it is okay to disappoint people. It is okay to say no. It is ok to devote time to yourself. Lastly, it is more than okay to walk away from relationships/friendships. Stop disappointing yourself. 

  1. Things that seem irrational now, maybe the best thing to ever happen to you.

This is a truth I swear upon because I switched high schools not thinking of what lies ahead for me in the last two years. As I graduated, it is the best thing to ever happen to me. I learned from people I knew and met along the way, I was granted opportunities I never thought of having. Life is too short to dwell on irrational decisions. You will make memories, meet new people, and take risks not knowing what might come out of it. 

  1. Make yourself a priority. 

This is the overall point of the article. This is all for you. 2021 seems dreary already, I know.. This year is YOUR year. Tell yourself you are enough and you matter. 

  1. Protect the energy around you. 

Protect yourself because like I said your soul and mental health go hand in hand and it is important to protect it, and not let it slip into a funk. It can be dangerous and if you feel that way, make sure you work on what gets your spirit back up, or seek the additional help you need from outside sources. 

  1. The best is yet to come for you. 

Trust the path you are on. Trust your motives, your dreams, and your goals. You are making it happen simply because you are here and doing the right thing for yourself. 

  1. Build a life that you love.

It won’t always be easy. Make an inspiration board. Pinterest can help you with many visions that are saved publicly or secretly for your eyes only. Let the life you want motivate you every day. I want to be the best teacher I can be because it is my dream. Let it drive you into doing better for yourself and your future ahead of you. 

  1. Your opinion matters the most.

Like me, you might ask others for their opinions in hopes that you can make some kind of decision and you get stuck when the majority of those you asked are opposite from your opinion. That’s ok. Maybe it might sway your opinion but at the end of the conversation, your opinion is yours, and don’t let anyone change that. 

  1. Grow.

Reflect one day at a time. Grow as a person and grow into someone you want to be, not how everyone else wants you to be. Remember it is okay to move on from who you used to be. Sometimes growth hurts, it is confusing but embrace it for growth and not a loss. 

Senior CC for Her Campus @ Utica I love my cat & Utica Coffee that is all