My perfectionism means I will never settle for anything less than perfection. Let me tell you, from a personal standpoint, this is ridiculous and also impossible. When I was in high school, I started setting my expectations a little too high. Anyone who personally knows me understands that I am an over achiever in pretty much every single thing that I do. This combined with trying to make everything perfect is not a great combination. Here is how I am trying to get through it.
Sharing personal stories is hard and vulnerable so listen with open ears and a kind heart, to everyone, not just me. Since high school, 4.0 grade point averages were the standard, perfectly tidy apartments were my expectation, and anything less than a wasn’t good enough. Everything I did, small or big, had to be the best I could possibly do and sometimes that wasn’t even good enough. Because of this I would often trap myself in my apartment to try and get everything done at the same time. This included homework, chores, whatever it was, I was never not doing something. This isn’t a good headspace to be in during your teens and twenties. I was so focused on everything being perfect that I was missing out on the opportunity’s life was giving me. I constantly found myself comparing my accomplishments with others. The feelings of being inadequate ate at me. Striving to be perfect starting to take a toll on every aspect of my life.
Until I decided to do something about it. I reached out to those closest to me and opened up about what I had been struggling with for years. Writing about my perfectionism has helped as well. Life was not meant to be perfect and holding myself to those expectations was unrealistic. Realizing that giving myself the opportunity to take a break and time for myself was one of the biggest lessons I learned from my close friends and family.
I’ve learned over the years that your accomplishments don’t define you. Your failures don’t determine your future. Taking small steps to move towards being easier on myself helped improve my mentality. It is still something I am constantly working on and will always be working on. Even this small story shows that whatever may be on the surface isn’t necessarily the truth. No matter what you might be struggling with, you are not alone. Life is too short to be worried about the things that don’t matter.
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