Often when we feel sad, we feel the need to hide it away. It’s kind of funny; women are known as these emotional creatures, yet many of us feel the need to bottle up sadness and pretend we are fine. Perhaps it’s because we worry too much about others and don’t want them to be weighed down by our troubles. Maybe it’s because we don’t like the feeling of having no control over something. Whatever it is, you need to let it happen. Sadness is totally natural, and something that needs to be acknowledged.
We shouldn’t run away from being sad; that does nothing to help it. The best advice I was given during my time in therapy was, “It is okay to be sad.” It sounds crazy, I know. We are told all our lives to not be sad, but instead to be happy. We live in a culture that rejects sadness. All we do is post about how happy we are and show pictures of how great everything is. How realistic is that? Ignoring being sad and forcing yourself to be happy is like trying to fix something without knowing what is wrong. It makes things harder than it needs to be. We need to find the root of what is making us feel this way, let it flow through us, and cope in a healthy manner.
Why are you feeling sad? It is such a simple question that many of us have a hard time answering. I often find it useful to write it down – “I am sad because,” followed by a list of everything that is making me sad at that moment can help me see what I am looking at. Don’t ever tell yourself, “This is something small and shouldn’t make me sad; other people have so much worse than me.” You are important; your feelings are valid.
Respect that you are sad. Don’t give yourself a set timeline. Dealing with this emotion takes a lot of patience. Don’t force yourself to get up and be happy again, instead, comfort yourself. Yes, go ahead and eat your favorite meal, listen to music, hug someone, cry, scream. Find a healthy coping mechanism that gives you a release. Maybe it’s exercising, drawing, being outdoors, anything that makes you feel like some weight has been lifted. Do anything in moderation that is healthy for you to feel better. Treat yo self!
Sadness does not make you weak. It is something we all experience, and we should be there for each other when it does come around. If you know someone who is sad, be supportive of them. Tell them that you are to help them wherever they need. Even if they don’t want your help, knowing they have a support system goes a long way. Let’s create a society that acknowledges sadness so that we can be healthier.
If your sadness is long term, please seek help. Depression is not something you can always fix on your own. The University of Utah Counseling Center is a great resource!
Phone: 801-581-6826
Hours: Monday – Friday, 8 a.m. – 5 p.m.
Location: 201 S 1460 E, RM 426, Student Services Building, University of Utah, Salt Lake City, UT 84112
Emergencies: For after-hours emergencies, contact the 24/7 Crisis Line at 801-587-3000
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