I always have said sorry too much. It was an automatic thing growing up. I gently brush against someone, “SORRY!” Someone says a rude comment to me, “sorry…” I hated confrontation, and it was just easier for me to just say “sorry”, and move on. I became a pushover. Others could see I would easily back down and would walk all over me. I grew more confident as I got older, but saying sorry too much was something I still struggled with. Last year I decided to pick something I didn’t like about myself and work on it for the whole year. I chose to stop being indecisive. With a lot of practice, it worked! Now I can pick what movie to go to or what restaurant to eat at. It took a lot off stress off my back. This year, I wanted to continue that path of improving myself. I chose to stop saying sorry.
The rules I made for myself at the beginning of the year were that I couldn’t say sorry unless 1. I said something that could hurt another’s feelings or 2. I actually inflict pain on someone. At first, it was REALLY HARD. I would say sorry and then backtrack and say something like “I mean, I am not sorry, that was my resolution this year.” That really confused people. After a few times of repeating that, I finally grew a backbone. I didn’t say sorry everyday like I used to. In fact, if people say something rude to me or put me down, I tell them off. I now refuse to let people push me around. Lately, I have even noticed that my confidence has been so much higher! I now know, that no one can bring me down, and that I am finally in control.
Here are some tips I found useful in my experience
– After saying sorry, ask yourself if you really did something wrong. If you didn’t, remember that next time.
– Figure out what makes you say sorry the most. For me, I say sorry a lot to avoid confrontation. I learned to instead express my feelings to others. If you ask for help and say sorry, realize that you have nothing to apologize for. Instead say please and thank you, show you are grateful for the help.
– You can still be polite. If you accidentally bump into someone or are in someone’s way, use words like “excuse me” or “pardon me” rather than just saying sorry.
– If you say sorry a lot because you are anxious/ suffer from anxiety, try and find some methods that can help you calm down. For me, it has been hitting the gym whenever I can. It is also helpful to find what triggers your anxiety. Saying sorry too much and anxiety can often go hand in hand.
– Pause before you say sorry. If you are like me, and saying sorry is an automatic tic, this can be hard, but practice makes perfect!
Not saying sorry has made me a more confident woman. It has only been less than two months, and I see such a change in myself. I still have a ways to go, but I can say for sure, I have started walking with my head a little bit higher.
