Desperation fills my entire being
As easily as the ocean carries away what is on the shore
I am kidnapped and held hostage by longing
My voice has grown silent from years of screaming
And depression has muzzled my will to live
How many tears are enough to cleanse my view?
If only I could find You, but I am a prisoner of my own fear
Sunlight has not touched my skin in what feels like an eternity
My mind’s windows are sealed, the shutters locked
And I seem to have misplaced the key
I used to see color in Your stained glass
But now my brain only recognizes grey
I lie in my cage, withering away, mouthing Your name
Can You see me? Can You feel the way my breath catches
When I get a mere glimpse of You?
Or maybe my eyes are lying to me
My brain has the habit of making me believe false realities
My heart is filled with what can only be anathema
My lungs are black from inhaling the smoke of blasphemy
And my wrists bleed from all the nights my sanity has abandoned me
Mangled and scarred and empty, but trying so hard to be beautiful
Taking in no more than what is vital has made me weak
And scouring the earth for a drop of Your water has left me
Drowning in an ocean of my own creation, but doing my best to swim