I read this beautiful quote less than a year ago, and yet now is the moment in which I feel the need to reflect on it.
No, it’s not from Shakespeare, or Socrates, or I don’t know, some other historical philosopher or author. It was actually published in 2021 in a book titled A Court Of Silver Flames by Sarah J. Maas. And let me tell you, I didn’t know I needed these words until I re-read them this past week.
In case the image isn’t loading, here’s the full quote:
“Never again.
Never again would she be weak.
Never again would she be at someone’s mercy.
Never again would she fail.
Never again, never again, never again.”
― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Silver Flames
The word “never” has always been seen through negative eyes. I remember when Justin Bieber did a whole concert movie with Never Say Never as the title. Lately, thanks to the “never again” quote, my perspective on this word has shifted.
There is a beauty in declaring that you won’t stand something that goes against your boundaries ever again.
Being in your life is a privilege and you shouldn’t feel obligated to let people in just because it means you’re being kind. There’s people that truly don’t deserve your kindness, and no, I’m not saying to treat them poorly, you are better than that, but to admit to yourself that this person doesn’t add anything to your life anymore, if anything it causes more harm.
I’ve felt belittled, guilty, and even less of a person because of how I’ve been treated in the past and no one deserves to feel like that.
The moment I read that quote, I realized I don’t want to feel like that ever again. I don’t need to prove myself to anyone, or impress anyone.
Never again will I allow anyone to make me question my worth.
Never again will I allow others to treat me like I don’t matter.
Never again will I surround myself with people that don’t deserve my energy.
Never again will I give my all to someone that doesn’t appreciate how much I’m trying.
Photo by Sixteen Miles Out on Unsplash
There’s a beauty in saying never. It doesn’t make you negative, or too sensitive. It allows you to determine what doesn’t resonate with this chapter of your life anymore. It allows you to let go of what drains you, and doesn’t serve you. It is a way to help you through your healing.
Maybe for months, or perhaps years you haven’t felt like yourself, I know I didn’t for a long time, and I’m still figuring out how I’m getting out of that. Making sure I know what I don’t want to feel or have in my life anymore allows me to focus on what I want to bring in, that’s why I wrote down the things I will never again allow in my life.
Photo by Amy Sibert on Unsplash
It’s always been said that the healing process isn’t linear, and I completely agree. This “never again” mindset has helped me climb over a stepping stone throughout my healing process, and I hope it can help you too.
Lots of love,