Girl, I feel ya. Life is hard. There’s a lot of pressure—and it’s sad, actually. If you’re like me, you tend to look for reassurance from other people or in things that you are not a burden or a failure at everything.
Instead of consuming your thoughts with how to seek validation, focus your perception on the question why.
I encourage you to ask yourself, “Why do I feel like I can’t do anything right?”
Then, ask yourself this question: “Why is my perspective fixed on my failures rather than my successes?”
Anything that comes to your mind, write it down, whether it’s about your past, present, fear of the future, friendships, family, church, school, career, etc. Write it down to clearly be able to read your thoughts in front of you rather them clouding your already-overwhelmed mind.
I encourage you to narrow it down and be specific. We are raised to pretend like our feelings are fine and to be optimistic. But how can we be optimistic if we feel like nothing can go right? Every person has their own thoughts and feelings, different experiences that shape their beliefs and perceptions. Each person has different aspects to grow from, which is why you should figure out yours.
Don’t get me wrong, it is going to be hard. It may trigger unwanted emotions because it requires some digging into your life, specifically your past. For me personally, it took me back to my family situation and me discovering I have anxiety and depression. It was a very hard time in my life, but it led me to realize how much I let my circumstances control me. I realized how it affected my family, friendships, school, my relationship with God, and pretty much every aspect of my life. That, coupled with my low confidence, explained why it was pretty easy for them to impact me this way.
But if you feel this way, too, then let me reassure you by saying there is a way out. It may not be in the way that you think, but you deserve to be joyful even through the obstacles. In church a few months ago, the pastor said, “Don’t let your past become your prison; let it be used as a platform.” To that fear, anxiety, guilt, or anything else holding you back, use that quote as daily motivation to move forward. That is your platform and you owe it to yourself to experience freedom.
This leads me to the next step: you are worth being your best self! Your self-worth should not be underestimated by others or anything else.
You are worth pursuing your passions, building friendships, getting into a relationship, finishing your degree, whatever it may be. Do not consider someone else’s dreams more important than yours! It’s okay if you don’t believe that right now, but still give yourself some affirmation. Find one good thing about your day and hold onto it. Sometimes for me, it is just getting out of bed or eating a full meal. Celebrating the small victories may seem unimportant, but it builds up your self- esteem over time. That’s you doing something right.
And finally, this is just a season. It may seem like a never-ending season, but it will. I can’t tell you why you are in this season, but I know it is for a purpose because you have a purpose. You are important. The other day, my friend told me, “You grow through what you go through,” and it left my anxious thoughts pondering. Those “failures” you count now will one day make a difference in those next important steps of your life. You will learn more about yourself and your character with how you handle these burdens. Never stop the momentum of learning about yourself.
You get to control your day and make your own decisions. Don’t forget that. You have the freedom to be the driver of your own car and go wherever you want to go. You may be hopeless and confused now, but it is a daily choice to find the good in each day.
So to the girl who feels like she can’t do anything right, that is actually not the case. Focus on the good. Figure out new things about yourself. Process your past. And make the daily choice to move forward. I promise it will get better, but for now, love on yourself a little extra. You deserve it.