Before going to therapy, I didn’t know how to make sense of my emotions and my past experiences. I felt intense periods of depression, where there seemed to be no end in sight. It felt like no matter how I wanted to be seen, no one would ever know the real “me.” I didn’t think I knew how to open myself and how to allow myself to feel what I feel. There were days I would just go around feeling angry, and not knowing why.
My first experience with therapy happened a year ago. I found myself in a period of depression, caught up in between healing from my past and focusing on the present. Going to therapy had been frowned upon in my family, despite my mom working in the field of medicine. The first step was getting an appointment with the UIC Counseling center, for an intake appointment. It felt incredibly relieving, telling my story to a professional for the first time. It was like a weight being lifted off my shoulders.
When I first walked in, I didn’t know what to expect. But I am glad I did the work of seeking help. For a long time, I believed that there was an issue with needing help. I put bandages over my wounds and kept it pushing. But getting help was just the first step of my journey. So, here are three things I learned from therapy.
- Your Trauma is Not Your Fault, But it is Your Problem
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Almost everyone has some sort of trauma. However, it can manifest itself in different ways. Don’t blame yourself for the pain others have put you through. There comes a point where you have to take responsibility for yourself. If you don’t know how to heal from your trauma, then the first step is to ask for help from someone who does. When we don’t address our problems, it can lead to unhealthy behavior: including but not limited to repression, self-harm, and projecting our pain onto others.
- There’s Nothing Wrong With Needing Help
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One unhealthy behavior that we humans have is the need to be able to hold everything up on our own. We are so quick to help others that sometimes we forget to stop and take care of ourselves. This can lead to depression, burnout, and exhaustion, among other things. We find ourselves overworked between our commitments to school, work, and our family/friends. I used to be afraid to reach out for help, and when I did, I wasn’t being open and honest with myself about what I needed. If you can’t help yourself, how can you help anyone else?
- Healing Takes Time
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Just like a physical injury, we have to give ourselves time to heal. Mental health and self-awareness is most definitely an attainable goal, but it is and always will be a long-term goal. It’s unrealistic and unhealthy for you to expect to one day hope all your problems will disappear. But it is realistic for you to aspire and work towards a better life in which you can be your ideal self: self-aware, healthy, and happy. So I urge you, be gentle with yourself.
Finally, I wanted to give you some encouragement in your mental health journey. This might be one of the hardest things one will ever have to do. But, it will be one of the greatest things you ever do. Take your time and make peace with yourself.