Who’s in charge of your inner b*tch this week, collegiettes? I hope you can confidently say you are. If that’s not the case, no worries; it’s about progression, not perfection. You can’t expect IT to disappear after a week. But if it hasn’t crept back into your life, don’t get too comfortable just yet because it will sneak up on you when you’re most vulnerable. Stay strong!
I hope the first part of “Bare Necessities” has helped you make peace with IT. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, click here to catch up on some useful tips you missed.
As mentioned in Part 1, there’s a long list of struggles we have to deal within the journey of life. To make things more complicated, everyone’s IT is different, so there isn’t a formula to help you tame it. At one point or another, you will have to deal with it. Here are some ways to make sure you’re prepared to take IT on when the day comes:
IT: STRESS
n. Mental, emotional, or physical strain or tension
How to tame IT:
- Just say no: We’re smart women and sometimes we tend to put a million things on our plate. It’s important to think about what really needs to get done and what can be knocked to the bottom of the list. Sure, it’s important to have a social life. When your friends ask you to go out, you should, unless you know going out will cause a huge amount of stress on your life because you have so much to do. Take a second to make a quick mental pro-and-con list, and be honest with yourself. If you know deep down it’s not a good idea, just say no. You’re going to have friends who will try to talk you out of your decision, but be firm and do the right thing for yourself.
- Be in control of your reactions: The truth is that there’s a lot out of your control in life, such as the behavior of someone else. Luckily, you are the only one in control of your reactions. This may be one of the hardest ways to cope with stress, but it will serve you well in the long run. What if your annoying ex keeps texting you to hook up or get back together? You can avoid that stress in your life because you are in control. Accept that you can’t change his actions, but remember you are the only one in charge of your reactions. This challenge is an opportunity for growth.
- Be balanced: You need time for your body and mind to get away. Make sure you’re making time for exercise, family, and friends. How else are you supposed to stay sane? It’s important to have a balanced life so you can recharge your batteries and tackle stress in a positive way. Don’t be afraid to just have a night in and watch movies or cuddle with a good book.
IT: TEMPTATION
n. The act of enticing or alluring to do something often regarded as unwise, wrong, or immoral
How to tame IT:
- Confide in a friend: None of these ITs are easy to deal with. You need someone you can trust to listen to your struggles and hold you accountable when you screw up. Maybe you’re tempted to hook up with that guy who has told you a million times he’s going to break up with his girlfriend… but still hasn’t (and probably won’t). There should be bright red sirens going off in your head telling you that it’s a bad idea! Sometimes that just isn’t enough. You need that person you can trust when you’re caught in the moment and the line between right and wrong becomes grey.
- Don’t give in: It may be hard to go to the mall and not leave without buying everything at Forever 21 or spending your money on a beautiful pair of Louboutins. IT wants you to give in, but this is a battle you need to win. Temptation comes in all different forms: infidelity, greed, and impatience are just a few from a very long list. It’s up to you to practice self-control and show yourself you are stronger than you think.
- Let go of the past: There’s no point in beating yourself up for whatever happened in the past. Give yourself a break, and just learn from your mistakes. This is a new day, which means you have the opportunity to be a better you. Just because you acted a certain way in the past doesn’t mean you can’t change it. You are in control, not IT.
IT: NEGATIVE BODY IMAGE
n. Disliking the way one looks, whether it’s height, weight, or any sort of physical imperfection
How to tame IT:
- Love yourself: We’ve all hated something about our bodies, and on some days, it’s worse than others. It’s important to focus on the great assets you have and learn to embrace those that you aren’t too crazy about. You were made a certain way for a reason. Make a list of 10 things you love about yourself, and post it somewhere you can see it when you forget about how special you really are.
- Do something about it: Instead of complaining that you can’t fit into your favorite pair of jeans, make a plan to start working out or living a healthier lifestyle. It’s important to be proactive because complaining isn’t going to get you anywhere. Trust in yourself to make the changes you need to improve the negative perspective of your body, and don’t be afraid to ask for help.
- Learn to love working out: I’ve heard it takes about three weeks to form a habit. Push aside whatever it is you have against the gym, and make an effort to make it enjoyable. Drag your roommate with you if you have to. Do whatever you can to make exercise a priority. Not only will you feel good, but you will also look great once you see your progress.
Fighting a battle against IT isn’t easy, and you shouldn’t have to face it alone. Talk to a close friend, a family member, or a professional. UF has a Counseling and Wellness Center that offers many resources to help you through any of the struggles you may be going through, and the best part is that no one has to know. You’re not the only one struggling with ITs, and it’s okay to ask for help. Click here for more information.