Anxiety’s Tips for Moving in With an SO

Hey. You there. You’re moving in with your SO! That’s so exciting! Congratulations. How are you feeling? A bit nervous I’m sure - that’s understandable. You’re bound to be worried that it won’t work, right?

Well, you probably should. Just in case. Because what if that does happen? Not that it’s going to, but you should bear it in mind. I’m just saying, you’re going to irritate them at times - what if they start to get really irritated?

What are you packing? There’s so much stuff to go through, it’s going to be very stressful. What clothes are you going to take? You can’t just bring summer clothes, it’s bound to be cold at some point and then you’ll get sick because you didn’t take any winter clothes. But you can’t bring all your clothes either - you have to think about your SO’s needs. You’re probably going to take up too much space - and that’s already going to irritate them.

How are you going to handle doing real adult stuff - keeping on top of bills and groceries? Let’s be real, you’ve never had to think about that, because you’ve never not lived at home. Does your SO find that weird? Maybe. I mean, it’s fine - but you are pretty unprepared and you’re SO’s done this before. You’d better google some stuff, and make lists of what to remember how to do.

Speaking of lists, you’ve got loads to do at the moment. Because you had exams. So you have done no admin for the last two months and now you’re going to have to do it all. Oh, and by the way. You probably failed all of those.

Are you going to be safe there? You should probably double check the doors every night before bed to make sure you’ve locked them. Maybe three times - as many times as possible, really. Oh, and don’t forget the alarm code, because then you’ll set off the alarm, security will arrive and call the landlord, the landlord will think you’re irresponsible and incompetent having already set off an alarm, and he will give you notice immediately. That would be a disaster - totally humiliating for a start, and a waste of money. Your mother would be so disappointed in you after everything she’s done. Don’t mess it up, this is really serious.

What if your mother is so upset she doesn’t let you move back in? And obviously, your SO will have left you because of your stupidity. Then you’ll be homeless, literally homeless. People might let you couch surf for a bit, but eventually they’ll get tired of it. Then what?

Do you live on the streets? Do you turn to crime as a way of getting money? Do you get caught stealing a car to run away? Do you get arrested and get put in prison? You’d be terrible in prison, look at you! You’re pathetic, why can’t you breathe? You’re a mess! You are definitely, 100% going to end up in prison, and no one you know will ever speak to you again.

Good luck though, It’s probably going to be fine.