Social-comparison— It’s something I’ve struggled with my entire life. Whether it stems from growing up with three perfect older siblings or never getting picked first for anything, social-comparison is something I live with every day—and I know I’m not the only one. Whether it’s studying for literal weeks and still not getting the grade, or seeing that one girl who’s love life is casually the plot of any given rom-com, at some point in time, we’ve all felt like we just weren’t enough. But here’s the thing— we are.
Let’s break it down. First of all, comparison is a total waste of precious time. While you sit around wondering ‘why can’t I be someone else for a day,’ you could be hustling and putting that time into yourself! You’ve only got 86,400 seconds each day and comparing yourself or your accomplishments to someone else is a second wasted. Although some may argue that comparison is a way of showing respect for others, we as women need to learn how to appreciate ourselves first. Because if you don’t respect your talent and self-worth in this world, no one will.
On top of being completely unproductive, the comparisons we make are always unfair. We typically compare the worst parts of ourselves to the best parts we see in others. Along with idealizing others, we have a habit of conveniently ignoring their shortcomings which causes us to feel even worse about ourselves. These toxic comparisons blind us from seeing our strengths. Because somewhere between thinking, “I’ll never be in a relationship as cute as theirs” and “Why can’t I seem to get an internship like hers,” we forget how strong we are on our own. Once you’ve lost your strength, it’s hard to look up and realize that someone else is probably comparing themselves to you and feeling the same exact way. So, we essentially only see the good in others and forget the good in ourselves, which makes no sense at all! Why do that to yourself?
Simply put, comparison is the thief of joy as it blinds you from focusing on the most important person- you. Whether your strength is the positive light you bring into others’ lives or your ability to do the perfect cat eyeliner, everyone is great at something. Even if we feel like we’re falling behind others, it’s important to remember that life isn’t a race and we’re all on our own unique journeys. And once you learn to find value in both others and ourselves, that’s when the best part of your story begins.
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