Moving out of your childhood room and into an unknown college dorm can feel foreign. How can one space make you feel so small and, most of all, alone? When a new college town introduces you to new feelings, it’s easy to gravitate and cling to people who can make you feel less lonely. Additionally, it’s crucial to make friends and meet new people, but it’s just as important to really take this time to get to know the most important person in your life: you.
Oftentimes we may miss out on certain opportunities and interests simply due to the fact that we don’t want to do them alone. One way I was able to push myself out of my comfort zone was through doing activities I typically do with a friend or a partner. The first time I went to a concert alone was unintentionally because my friend had promised to meet me there, but couldn’t make it on time. After overcoming the fear of looking awkward and being there all alone, I was elated once the music started. I was able to experience something entirely for me to enjoy; nothing else at that moment mattered. After this event, I voluntarily went to another concert alone. There, I met new people and was able to socially enjoy myself during all of it.
After these little encounters, I found myself prioritizing things I enjoyed doing regardless of company, which led me to test my limits and lose the fear of feeling weird or looking strange to others. Going to the gym, studying at a coffee shop and going to see a movie are all things I have started doing in my own company to take care of myself, my responsibilities and hobbies. Some plans don’t need to be canceled because of a falling out with a friend or a requested rain check. The more you begin to sit with the version of yourself that you recognize, the more you’re able to bask in your own comfort.
Dependency tends to blind us in times of desperation, and it’s important to remember that life is simply all about balance. If you discover that you may need a bit more social interaction to motivate your day or communicate your emotions, do it! Go get coffee with a friend or have a sleepover and spill all the tea, but don’t miss out on life-changing, core memories just because you’re lacking someone to share them with. Sharing it with yourself is just as worthy and just as meaningful. Relationships come, go, grow, or fade out, but the one thing you’ll always have is yourself. So why not get to know her a bit more?