The saying goes: “A Father is a daughter’s first love.” Well, whoever said that lied! It isn’t entirely true considering that many of us had an absent or emotionless father growing up. For me, my dad fled to begin a completely new family while treating my own like damaged goods. Now with Valentine’s Day peeking around the corner, the lingering loss of our dad deepens, as it’s the reminder of the love we never had. The heart-aching holiday has never been easy for us fatherless daughters, but we still deserve to celebrate the holiday by recognizing the love we already have! Here are some ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day as a fatherless daughter:
Celebrate with Your Loved Ones
Look around! Who are you close to? Well, whoever it is, you can celebrate with them! By recognizing what you already have rather than focusing on what you don’t, the holiday can be a celebration of the love your closest friends and family have always given you. In the comfort of your own home, plan a virtual Valentine’s Day gathering on a group call. Some activities could include watching a rom-com, exchanging gifts, and having dinner while being quarantine-friendly!
Buy Yourself Flowers
Head to your local florist and get yourself the most eye-catching bouquet you can find! There is no better excuse to spoil yourself with flowers considering it’s the day of celebrating love. In this case, self-love! Personally, I enjoy a dainty sunflower arrangement.
Bake or DIY
Bake a heart-shaped cookie from that recipe saved on your Pinterest board or grab a blank canvas to paint! Being expressive through arts and crafts can be an outlet to release your emotions while unleashing your creativity. Let it all out, and don’t be shy! I plan on crocheting a heart-patterned shoulder bag!
Write It Out
Your emotions about never receiving your dad’s love are completely valid. Rather than bottling up the hurt and betrayal, get it off your chest by grabbing the dusty journal off the shelf and writing about your feelings. Better yet, you can safely burn the paper after you finish to have an emotionally satisfying moment! Don’t forget to pour a glass of wine (if you’re of legal age, of course) and find your coziest blanket while writing away.
Self-Reflect
If your feelings are overwhelming, try to figure out what exactly is still holding you back from enjoying the holiday. Treat yourself by going for a long drive in the city or basking in the sun at the park — anything that pushes you to dig deeper to understand those emotions and how to cope with them. Therapy is also a healthy way to get the help you need. Our University Health Services even offers mental health care for all UC Berkeley students.
Valentine’s Day is a celebration of all types of love, and most importantly, self-love. Despite not being able to get it from your dad, you can certainly find it in surprising places. Happy Valentine’s Day, and remember you are loved and wanted!