This October 10th was Mental Health Day, and just two days later someone committed suicide on the University of British Columbia Vancouver campus. Approximately every 40 seconds someone commits suicide, a total of 3000 people every day…
I come from a small country where suicide was rarely discussed. As soon as I moved to Vancouver, I started realizing how many people decide to take their own lives. I will never understand what goes through their mind; everyone has their own reasons. However, I can relate to the stress people go through, especially during midterm seasons. Next week I have three midterms, and I am studying every chance I get. But, I still don’t feel fully prepared. There’s a reason to this: the pressure of perfection. We have expectations about ourselves and others and when those expectations are not fully accomplished, we feel disappointment and incompetence.
The reason I am writing about this sensitive topic is to obtain closure from this event. I don’t think this topic should be taken lightly. UBC is a university of 60,000 students, many of whom might be struggling. That is why I want to share the ways that I keep sane during stressful times (It may not be applicable to everyone, but I hope this inspires students to find their own way of handling stress):
When I was in high school, I was a Straight A student. I often thrive for the best and I have always been driven to be involved and maintain a competitive average. As soon as I came to UBC, I realized I am now competing with the best of the best. Many times I would feel not worthy of the scholarship I earned or the opportunity I was given. It took me a long time to realize that I should stop competing with my classmates and just do the best I can for myself. Lesson #1: Stop comparing yourself to everyone else.
I have also learned that it is okay to take a break. We often think we should be studying every chance we get because we are gonna regret it if not. As a business student, I take the term “opportunity cost” really seriously. Every time I am doing something instead of studying, I feel guilty. Is that healthy? I don’t think so. We are all human beings that require socialization, sufficient hours of sleep, and healthy meals. Lesson #2: Take a break if you feel burnt out; cook for yourself or buy your favourite meal and talk to people that make you smile. My mom has always told me that “you can count your real friends on one hand”. You don’t need many friends, you just need the right friends who you can count on in those moments of desperation. Even though you think you are alone, there is ALWAYS someone that cares about you. ALWAYS!
Lesson #3: Exercise has always helped me relax: meditate, go for a run or go to the gym. Exercise releases endorphins, which in turn reduces stress levels. In addition, it helps you sleep better. I have heard a lot of stories of students not sleeping for three consecutive days before finals, which can be brutal for your body. P.S: Caffeine is not a solution!
Lesson #4: be positive and try to see the good things in life. Even though we face obstacles in our path, there is always a solution to them. I used to be a negative person, I used to focus in the “what I should be” or in the “what if” but then I realized that I wasn’t living in the moment. This doesn’t mean that YOLO is the key to happiness…but enjoying the little things that life gives you. For instance, I am more than grateful to be living in a residence where I get a nice ocean view. Every morning, I wake up to this view and I realize how lucky I am to be where I am. Every sunset, every sunrise is a new opportunity that life has granted to me to make the most of it.
That said, we cannot belittle mental health issues. Sometimes, simply fixing your attitude is not an option. In those circumstances, outside help is the only thing that can assist you through dark times. Lesson #5: Seek help when you need it. This does not make you weak or broken – it takes great strength to understand that you need help. You are all part of the UBC community and you all deserve the help you need. Pain is temporary, death is not. You will be okay in the end, and if you are not okay, it is still not the end.
Resources available at UBC:
– UBC Counselling Services:
https://students.ubc.ca/health-wellness/mental-health-support-counselling-services
Room 1040, Brock Hall
604 822-3811
– UBC Student Health Service: https://students.ubc.ca/health-wellness/student-health-service
Koerner Pavillion
604 822-7011
– AMS/GSS Empower Me, a mental health service offering 24/7 counselling support, which can be reached toll-free at 1-844-741-6389.
Additional resources:
– Vancouver Crisis Centre (24/7): 604-872-3311.
– BC Bereavement Helpline: 604-738-9950.
– S.A.F.E.R: 604-675-3700.
For everyone feeling stressed about midterms, or school in general, do not let exams consume you; your value as a human being is not based on the grades you receive, nor will your future be over if you get a bad mark on a midterm. Please keep this in mind and if you feel overwhelmed, the best thing you can do is talk with someone (preferably a professional). And, if you see someone else in a bad place, let them know that you are there for them and refer them to one of the resources above.