So, just to get it out of the way, this isn’t your regular “we met in class” scenario. He lives on my floor. We met during move-in, and when I first met him I thought nothing of it. After all, I was going to be living with him for the next year so it wasn’t worth it to complicate things…with any of the guys really. But, as I spent more time with him and people started teasing us, I began to see him differently. I denied it for so long, promising people that we weren’t more than just really good friends, until he offered to take me home for thanksgiving. Being from out of the country, all of you can probably guess I was more than excited to be able to get out of the dorms for a few days. Once thanksgiving break began and I met his family and friends, I finally let myself accept the fact that maybe I did have feelings for him; and as the days went by we got closer and closer.
We’d watch movies all night, and spend the day with his family, he was even surprised by how well his dog was behaving around me. Long story short it was an amazing five days, and as someone who struggles with anxiety, I felt better than I had since I got to college. But then it was time to leave and face reality. Things weren’t going to remain the way they were. He started becoming more distant, and critical of everything I did. It seemed like the more I tried to talk to him the more defensive he got, and as our undefined relationship broke apart, he began a new one, with another girl on our floor. And I know what you may be thinking, why am I hurt if we were never together? I don’t know. I just know that the decision I’m actively making to get over him is the best thing for me. I will not stick around to have someone hurt me and expect me to be okay just because he is.
What I’m trying to get to is that we should never stick with someone just because we’ve grown comfortable with the idea of having him around. In my case, I imagined scenarios that will never happen. I hoped that things would go back to the way they were over break, that I could stand my ground until he was ready to treat me like before. But that’s exactly the problem, it’s always him that drives our relationship the way he wants to. Luckily, I have friends who support me and didn’t judge me while I figured out that trying to pursue someone like him is not with the heartbreak. And since this isn’t my first rodeo I know what I need to get over someone, and I know that at least for me, that doesn’t mean to look someone else, but to find within myself what I thought they provided for me. In this case that was reason. He made me reason my over-the-top feelings and stopped me from overthinking everything. But, as we grow further and further apart I’ve realized that all of the qualities he has that I thought I desperately needed, I have in myself. So, I know everyone has probably heard this phrase before, but I’ll say it for the first time and definitely not the last, “You don’t need no man!” I don’t need a man to fix me or save me, I can do that myself.