Edited by Olivia Spahn-Vieira
In university, we are in an environment where most people around us are both socially and academically competitive. Because of this, we always seem to know who has the highest grades and participates in the most clubs, and because of social media, who has the most fun looking social life and the best lifestyle. Once we see and know all this, it becomes extremely easy for us to compare ourselves to those around us. I know that I have fallen victim to this too many times as I will frequently question whether or not I am succeeding as much as others around me. I have realized that this can really take a toll on one’s mental health. I’ll be sharing three ideas, which I found have helped me feel more confident in myself, instead of always comparing myself to others.
1. What you see is rarely the full puzzle
Let’s look at someone else’s life as if it were a puzzle. You wake up one day and check your phone and you see that this girl you attend school with is posting about the fact that she woke up early in the morning, drank a cup of coffee, and then proceeded to work out and then complete a good few hours of studying. So then you are watching all this from your bed and hating on yourself for not being productive and wishing that you were more like this other girl. What you need to realize is that this is just one half of the puzzle that they are showing you. The other half of the puzzle is that this girl that you see that is studying for hours could also be having panic attacks or dealing with other issues that they are not showing you which is why you should not be comparing yourself to this girl or anyone else. What others show is rarely the full story which is why you need to remind yourself that what you are doing is enough.
2. Everyone has different habits, and yours are just as valid
In university, it is noticeable immediately that people have many different study habits. You get the student who stays up at the library till 3 am, you get the student who wakes up at the crack of dawn to study and you get the students in between who will try to study throughout the day. In my first year of university, I always wondered whether my study habits were as strong as other people’s, because I was not one of those students who was able to make it till 3 am. I thought that if others could do it, then I should be able to do it too. I realized later that this was not the case. Everyone should do what works best for them, without feeling the need to compare themselves to others. Just because their habits are different, doesn’t mean that they are at a disadvantage. Everyone’s minds work differently, meaning that your habits are always as valid as those of another person.
3. Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
As someone who goes to a University that has a high reputation, I immediately felt imposter syndrome in my first year. Imposter syndrome is when you feel so much self-doubt to the point that you feel like you are not meant to be in a certain environment. Going into university, I always knew at the back of my mind that I was accepted for a reason and therefore deserved to be there as much as anyone else in my classes. But, at the same time, I still felt a lot of self-doubts when comparing my level of knowledge in a class to another person. There were times when I felt that way, because I thought that I knew less than others, and that I did not deserve to be there. I was later given advice that I find still holds true, which is that most people also feel this way. So, when you think that you are so different from other people to the point that you compare yourself to them, remind yourself that you and everyone else in that class are likely in the same boat, and that you do not need to be exactly like the rest of the group.
Most people in the world fall victim to the thoughts of inferiority or comparison, especially when in a competitive environment. While these three ideas have been helpful for me, they are also a challenging, meaning that they will take time to achieve. (Like everything else in life!) It is important to recognize that others around you are most likely feeling the exact same way. This is something that we can all work through together, one day at a time! Hopefully, these solutions will help you to feel more confident about yourself on a daily basis.