Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or a mental health professional; this article reflects my personal experience with fluoxetine, but it is not intended as medical advice.
For years, I told myself that I could handle my crippling anxiety on my own. I practiced self-care, exercise, and prioritized sleep, but deep down I knew that something had to change. Days of picking at my nails and fixating on mundane bullsh*t became my reality. I genuinely didn’t sleep for a week straight; my mind was too consumed with frivolous thoughts.
Then, one day it hit me: this was something bigger than drowning in self-care could fix; there was literally a chemical imbalance in my brain. Admittedly, I was scared. For a young woman, taking medicine can feel like you are breaking a rule. In my experience, doctors can be quick to dismiss these feelings. They’ll simply tell you to “just think positive,” which although helpful at times, doesn’t fix a brunt of mental health issues.
For a long time, I thought that I would be considered weak for seeking help. Now, I realize that was the strongest thing that I could have done.
Immediately, I was introduced to the sweetest psychiatrist. For the first time, it felt like someone understood me; someone heard me. Soon after, she introduced me to SSRIs: Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors. She recommended I try taking fluoxetine, one of the oldest SSRI antidepressants used to treat several mental health conditions. Now, I had an important decision to make. Should I let fear win and continue suffering on my own, or would I prosper through and try taking medication?
I’m sure you can guess what choice I made!
I’ll be honest, fluoxetine didn’t magically make all of my problems go away. The first couple of weeks were nausea-filled and headache-ridden, and I found myself pondering if I had made a mistake. I gave it a few weeks, and for that I am incredibly thankful. Slowly, I felt a life-changing shift. One day, the world didn’t feel so heavy- it was like a lifelong fog had been lifted.
Fluoxetine didn’t make me “happy all the time”, it simply allowed me to live a life that I never knew was possible. For the days of anxiously pondering my next meal turned into laughing with my best friends: I could finally live, not just exist in a bubble.
Taking fluoxetine didn’t just change my life: it saved me. It helped me realize that I, too, am a human. I, too, need to ask for help sometimes, and that is the most influential thing that I have learned in my 22 years.
Talking about mental health matters, I’d be lying if I said that this wasn’t a vulnerable article for me to write. But the more we talk about mental health and medication, the less power we grant the stigma. If you’re struggling, I want you to know that you’re not broken, weak, dramatic, or any silly adjective: you are only human. Fortunately, there are many resources to help.
Can’t get enough of HC UMass Amherst? Be sure to follow us on Instagram, listen to us on Spotify, like us on Facebook, and read our latest Tweets! Â
MENTAL HEALTH: If you or someone you know is seeking help for mental health concerns, visit the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) website, or call 1-800-950-NAMI(6264). For confidential treatment referrals, visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) website, or call the National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP(4357). In an emergency, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK(8255) or call 911.