This One's For You

This One’s For You. 

Hello, I’m so sorry that you're here, feeling this way with me. If you don't know what I’m talking about, that's okay. This is one I don’t want you to understand. But if you do understand, I’m here. Take a deep breath and let's continue. We’ll make it to the other side together. 

I’m so sorry that someone made you feel as though you were difficult to love. Where you feel so lonely that you think you are going to just scream if you don’t talk to someone in the next second. I'm sorry you doubtlessly feel so inundated by the negative thoughts drowning you in this continuous cycle that seems inescapable. I understand the feeling that feeds you lies you just want to believe in because it completely consumes you that there is nothing left to do but listen. I know how it feels to be left wondering what you did wrong. 

But I urge you to shift your perspective. Your thoughts at this point in time do not reflect reality. The emotion you feel now depresses your capability to see the light in every situation and only fuels the cycle of barrage raining on you. You know you are a good person. You know you have so much left to do, your work is far from over. You know you have passions and goals just like everyone else. You know that your feelings are valid. The fact that you were able to once show someone so much emotion, shows how much you can truly love. Think about how much you will be able to give to the person who was meant for you. I want to teach you that a positive thought can be planted just as easily as a negative one.

Here's your reminder to take a deep breath.

I’m going to call on some of the cliches here and tell you to picture something that makes you smile. A puppy, a beautiful place, the smell of your house or even that of a person, a baby, the way someone laughs at a joke, or your favorite memory. Call on it. Concentrate. Imagine it filling up your insides with the glow of happiness. Wipe away the tears and feel the warmth it brings. Don’t fight it. Don’t fixate on your sadness. Smile. And you'll get a little puppy hug.

Man holding puppy Lydia Torrey Now, we are going to try verbal positive affirmations. I want you to say one good thing about yourself. It can be anything. But here’s the catch. Say it out loud. I told you this would be cliche but I promise, it will ease the torrent of negativity in your head. Just do it. Look yourself in the mirror and feel the truth behind your words and really mean it. 

I’ve been where you are more times than I care to admit. Falling into the downward spiral of negativity, that seems never ending. That sometimes, you don’t even want to fight. I know how easy it is to believe the lies floating through your mind, pushing into every crack and crevice. So let this serve as your truth. Your life jacket, and shining beacon. You are worth it. You have purpose. You are worth loving. You are going to go so far. Don’t be fooled by the bouts of self doubt creeping into your mind. Know your worth.

I wrote this to reassure you that good experiences are on the way. I wrote this to remind you to never give up on love. I know you are hurting right now, and it's okay to hurt sometimes. You can never heal at the point of trauma. But, just remember, time is your friend now. You have control over your thoughts, they do not control you. We give our dark thoughts power. But we can just as easily give that power to positivity. This way your negative feelings will not last forever. Not only this moment, but the several moments in the days, months, even years where you’ve found yourself struggling will dissipate. You can beat this. In a couple months you will realize exactly why things had to have happened the way that they did. 

In the meantime, fall in love with yourself. Give the same level of love to yourself that you gave to the person who left you like this. Cherish your body and fall in love with your own scars and flaws before anyone else can. Love yourself enough to be your own dose of oxytocin. 

I pray that your level of self-love is so high that when another person mistreats you or makes a move to leave, you no longer beg them to stay. Instead you gladly open that door and wave good bye. Because ultimately anything that is holding you back in life is something that wasn’t meant to stay in the first place. I hope that you prove to both yourself and the people who doubted you, that you will never forget how powerful and worthy you are. I wrote this for all the beautiful people who just want to feel better, striving to find that hope to cling onto. This one’s for all of you; your time will come, whether in terms of love or success, it will come. 

One last thing: keep breathing. You’re doing great. You will be okay. This will be here for whenever you need a reminder, but know that so many of your family, friends, parents, and teachers are in your corner supporting you as well. You have the options and you are never truly alone, even if you can’t see it at this moment. I truly believe what I say. When we focus on positivity, it comes to us. Remember we don't know how it's going to come to us or when, but we remain positive because it's always better than the alternative.  

a pink neon Max van den Oetelaar | Unsplash


All images are courtesy of the Her Campus Media Library