Radical acceptance is accepting that it’s a rainy day on a day when you planned to visit the beach. It’s accepting your partner’s flaws for what they are. Radical acceptance is simply acknowledging reality.
Another word for acceptance is acknowledgment. Acknowledging what you are feeling is just as significant as accepting it. Recognizing the reality of the scenario you are in is the essential first step to accepting reality for what it is and easing into it.
Become aware of when you’re negatively judging or criticizing something; once you do become aware of how harsh you might have been towards the issue or even yourself, a really useful thing is to talk to yourself almost the way you talk to a child. Be gentle and patient, even when they are in the wrong.
Notice when you’re resisting reality: Fighting reality only creates suffering. When you do realize how you are being resistant against your reality, consider what could possibly happen if everything actually worked out.
Keep in mind that acceptance is usually a choice we make again and again over time. Consider all the decisions and events that have taken place up until now, it will help you make a firm choice, consistent with the ones you have made before.
Keep some coping statements handy, where you’ll be able to see them during difficult moments:
- I cannot change what has happened in the past.
- I accept this moment as it is.
- I have dealt with problems before and I can deal with this.
- It’s not helpful for me to fight the past.
- I don’t need to change everything at once