After seeing my older siblings move on with their lives, I realized I’m now the designated child my parents do not want to see grow up next or see make a complete mess with her life. Yes, it sucks, but remember––our parents mean well, and it’s hard for them to let go. I always thought I had a big part to fill, and I would fear for my life, thinking I would never be good enough or accomplish anything as special as my older siblings did. Instead of letting my doubts brew, I used them to my advantage to keep me going. That being said, this leads to two fundamental lessons that I live by to this day.
Lesson 1: You and your siblings are not the same
Have you ever had to cope with being under your older sibling’s shadow? Have you ever thought, “What if I can’t do it like they did?” Interests are not generational, and it’s okay to feel passionate about something your siblings––or even parents––may disapprove of. My eldest brother is a junior IT technician for a major company; my sister works as an RSA (Residential Support Aide) at a long-term care facility. Me? I’m a 23-year-old third-year student who dropped out of her first university, had to start at the very beginning of my second attempt at university, and still trying to figure out her career path. Within the interests of my siblings and me, I was the oddball who wanted a dream career built on creativity, not facts, science, or technology. My parents, to this day, still ask if I have any interests in working in the medical field like my sister, or why I’m not as tech-savvy as my brother. It’s not that my parents didn’t want me to follow my dreams; it’s my immigrant parents worried that my career choice might not bring enough food to the table. Although my parents are still having trouble understanding my interests and what I want to do with my life, my main mantra is:
“I am not my brother or sister. I’m still figuring it out. My decisions are what’s right for me, and me only”
– Kathryn Sevilla
Lesson 2: Working at different speeds is totally okay!
Although I’m proud of what my siblings have accomplished, I envied every moment of it. So, naturally, I would try to push myself to keep up, but obviously, accomplishments cannot be achieved the same way twice–or in my case, thrice. Seeing my brother and sister flourish in their professions was daunting, and I always felt like it would take me a good while to figure my life out. But then I would remember just how long it took my brother and sister to get where they are today. For instance, it took my brother two tries at college to understand what he really wanted to do with his career path. He took Police Foundation first, thinking he wanted to work in the police force but dropped out because he learnt that it wasn’t his calling. Instead, his second attempt studying Computer Science made him realize that he wanted to be an IT for the long run. As for my sister, it also took two shots at college, and she now wants to go back to school to become a practical nurse. That being said, always remember to follow your own speed. It leads you to better clarity of what you want, careful thinking for your career path and a better result–even if it takes you several more tries than you hoped.
Nevertheless, it’s okay to have doubts, and it’s okay to take more time with yourself. There’s no sibling competition for who can impress mom and dad the most or who has the better job; as long as you work hard and are content with yourself, that’s all that matters. Hopefully, these two lessons will help you accept and appreciate being the youngest as they did for me.