Self-love is something very important to achieve. But it’s also something very difficult to do. My journey toward self-love has been complicated, and although I am still constantly working on it, I can already tell the difference it has made in my life. As someone who is considered more dependent than independent, I have found to value and love myself without seeking validation from anyone else.
Growing up, I was surrounded by family and friends who showed genuine love and affection for me. I never felt like I was alone. I appreciate the environment I grew up in so much because it showed me the true meaning of love and how nice it is to be loved by others. However, at the same time, I feel this made me dependent on both my family and friends because of how attached I became to them. Through my self-love journey, I have realized that being dependent is not necessarily a bad thing as long as you know how to be independent as well.
I had to become more self-supporting when I moved away from home for university. Learning to be okay with living alone without my friends and family took me a while. But it also helped me grow stronger. Moving to another country for university was challenging, and it was lonelier than I expected it to be. The media always shows you how fun the “university experience” is, but they forget to show the lonely parts of it.
Although it was difficult at first, I learned to do things that made it easier for me. This was part of my journey because it allowed me to feel independent while also knowing that others supported me, even though they were not physically with me. I learned to appreciate the opportunity I had to move to another country for university and continue to follow my dreams. I learned to get out of my comfort zone and make new friends in and outside of classes. I finally learned that it was okay to go out alone and treat myself without needing to be with my family or friends. I took myself out on shopping dates and for walks to get a feel of some fresh air. Little by little, I was able to make a home out of my university, where I am currently really happy. This also showed me a lot about growth and being okay with being alone. My love and attachment for them have not changed, but I do not feel like I am as reliant on them as I used to be before.
Romantic relationships also teach you a lot about yourself and the importance of self-love. My past relationship was pure and genuine, but at the same time, it helped me learn a lot about myself. Getting out of a relationship is always a hard thing to go through, but it was also a necessary step that needed to be taken to continue with my journey through self-love. One of the biggest lessons I learned is that to be in a healthy, committed relationship, you need to be content with yourself first. Knowing your own values and standards is key to having a successful relationship.
Based on how I was already aware of how I tend to depend on others who are close to me, I knew that being in a romantic relationship would amplify these emotions. Moving to Canada for university made me feel alone, and having a partner during those times made the process much easier. I always had the support of my friends and family back home, so having my partner in university made me more dependent on him than I wanted to. Having him around made moving away easier and also gave me that ease of comfort. Without realizing it, it’s hard to continue being independent without feeling like you need your other half when you are in a romantic relationship. I noticed this happening to me throughout the relationship, and I was completely attached by the end.
Although I knew from the beginning how my emotions would be amplified, it was hard to stop once you were already in the relationship. Going from being in a relationship to not really helped me find love within myself and not need someone else to show it to me. Moving on from a past relationship was a challenging experience, but in the bigger picture, I knew it would help me with my journey to self-love. I did not have the comfort of knowing I had someone else to rely on, which only made me stronger towards relying on myself. This has also helped me appreciate myself more and become proud of the person I’ve become. The biggest step I could take in my journey was letting go of the feeling of needing someone.
Every day, I like to practice reminding myself of what I like about myself and what I am grateful for. This allows me to start the day feeling motivated and content with the person I am at this very moment. Something I have really learned to appreciate is daily affirmations. Starting your day with positive energy can make a change without you even realizing it. I really recommend doing this rather than waking up and immediately using your phone. The issue with social media is that you may sometimes see something you do not want to that can automatically start your day negatively. I believe the energy you put out in the universe is the energy you receive back.
This journey has helped me understand that I do not need anyone but myself, and I am happy with my improvement. I finally feel like I do not truly need to depend on anyone but myself. My journey to self-love hasn’t ended yet, but I have learned a lot about myself. I am finally on the right track to needing myself more than I need anyone else.