As the eldest sister, I felt alone through my birth control journey. I was fearful of asking my parents, or anyone at all, for advice on such a controversial topic. But once I felt comfortable discussing my options with my parents, I had their support, and all the anxiety seemed to disappear. Whether you’re sexually active, thinking about becoming sexually active, or considering birth control for a medical reason, your choice matters!Â
Use my experience as a guide for your journey with birth control. I wanted to be put on birth control because, from a very young age, I had horrible experiences with my period. I would have to skip school, miss out on learning opportunities, and lie in bed all day because of how ugly my body felt. Unfortunately, this was the norm for me growing up. I felt so out of control in my own body, like I was missing out on pieces of my life because of a five-day-long parasite. As I got older, I started talking to my friends at school about birth control, hoping their advice would help me feel more confident about reaching out to my parents. Although many of them shared how birth control had saved them from their own difficult experiences with monthly periods, it’s important to remember that everyone’s body is different. No one person in the room will share the same experiences with you. However, understanding how to foster a conversation with my parents about such a controversial topic made me feel more comfortable.
The hard truth is that it can be uncomfortable fostering a conversation with your parents, especially if you are the eldest daughter like me. My parents had never gone through a conversation like this before, so of course, when I brought up wanting to be put on birth control, they were skeptical. With all this in mind, you might wonder how to begin a conversation with your parents? I’ve put together four points that helped guide my conversation, and I hope they can help you too.
- UNDERSTAND YOUR FACTS
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Before you begin a conversation, research why being on birth control can be beneficial of you. More specifically, how birth control takes effect on the body and why you strongly believe it can assist you. Research is a good thing to bring into your conversation because they cannot dispute facts, but what they can do is go against opinions. Therefore, try to limit any opinions in this part of your conversation until the end.
- TIME AND PLACE
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Think about where the most appropriate place to have this conversation would be. For example, you don’t want to bring this topic up in the middle of Target where your parents are distracted. The main idea of this conversation is for you to be heard and your parents won’t be able to if they are in a public space. In my opinion, the best time to start this conversation is in the comfort of your own home. Just make sure you choose a moment when your parents are free of distractions and can really listen to what you have to say.
- KNOW YOUR OPTIONS
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Birth control comes in many forms, so knowing what options you have can help relay your message better. Once again, doing some formal research on the different types of birth control options can give your parents a better understanding of the topic. I am not a doctor or a medical professional, so I highly recommend always consulting with your doctor about what options are in the best interest of you and your health. It never hurts to come into the conversation with either your doctor or parents with information about the options available to you.
- BE RESILIENT
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Having this conversation is a big accomplishment, regardless of its outcome. Facilitating such a controversial topic for the first time is scary, but knowing you had the conversation is important because now your parents understand your needs and why. Even if the conversation didn’t go your way, stay resilient. It might have gone south, or the idea may have been shut down immediately. But always remember, the topic is still fresh in their minds. They might be going through this for the first time too, just like you. Later on down the line, they may come to understand that being put on birth control is in the best interest of your health and well being. Your resilience in having this conversation can open the door for more. Hopefully, then they’ll realize that they want to support you throughout your birth control journey.
Everyone will have a different outcome, and things may not always go the way you planned. I hope the points I have provided help guide the conversation with your parents, but if not, remember the point on staying resilient! I wish I had a guide like this when I facilitated my conversation because these were the points I found most helpful in mine. I hope I’ve offered you the “Big Sister” advice I never had, since I was the eldest. This is your body, and you are in control of it. Learn how to speak up for yourself when you need it most. Especially when it comes to the health and well-being of yourself. Ultimately, know that you are not alone in this process. If you need additional help facilitating another conversation, don’t hesitate to reach out to a healthcare provider.