There seems to be an obsession in the digital age with “wellness” and having the perfect self-care and hygiene routines. The reality is that the idea of wellness is largely a scam, and real wellness is about knowing yourself and your needs rather than letting the internet tell you what those are.
Did you know you should actually floss before you brush? But don’t brush too hard, your gums could recede. Also, you should actually brush before you eat in the morning to protect your teeth from bacteria in food. Did you know you’re actually supposed to let the toothpaste sit for a while before rinsing? Otherwise, you’re not getting the real effect of the toothpaste. And you should really have a cover on your toothbrush to shield it from gross bathroom air.
Was that exhausting to read? Because, trust me, it was exhausting to write, and that’s just the random advice I hear from the non-pros around me focused on the dental side of “wellness.” If there’s one thing I’ve learned in almost a year and a half of being an adult, it’s that it is impossible to do absolutely everything right when it comes to self-care.
However, we live in a world where the idea of wellness and having the perfect hygienic routines are prioritized so intensely. I think we’re forgetting that we’re all just human beings trying our best to take care of ourselves- and we can’t be perfect all the time, or even at all.
I see this especially on social media, with certain influencers promoting up to 17-step shower routines that range from being done biweekly to daily. Listen, if you have the funds and time for that, and it makes you feel right, go for it! But just because these ultra-dense routines may not match your own does not make you any less clean or hygienic. I think the problem with this type of content is that these influencers seem perfect to wide audiences. Allow me to remind you that when the cameras are off, these influencers probably wear dirty clothes and skip a shower or two like the rest of us….
I completely understand how alluring it can be to want to be utterly pristine and the epitome of cleanliness all the time. After all, it feels good to be clean and healthy! The problem is, there is nothing pristine about being human. Life is messy and complicated, and unfortunately, this can manifest physically sometimes. No matter how many products you buy or how much you beef up your routine, I promise you will still have plenty of greasy hair and dirty clothes days.
This doesn’t even begin to touch the mental side of wellness, which has become its own monster. Once again, I feel like social media has perpetuated this idea that mental health is all about being happy all the time.
In what universe could that ever be possible?
I hardly know anything about real mental wellness myself, but I know that all I can do is try to pay attention to my emotions and give myself breaks when needed. I have days where I overwork myself and days where I know I could be doing more…what more can I say? Mental health is tricky, and when you feel like you’ve figured it out, it may just get messed up again. All we can do is keep trying, over and over.
I think we need to stop worrying about how to do “wellness” and start worrying about how to make ourselves truly feel better. There is no influencer or slew of products that can make you feel good when you don’t genuinely understand what your body and mind need. It’s hard to be nice to yourself sometimes, but give yourself some grace; the fact that you even want to take care of yourself, I think, is a really good sign.
Wellness can look like so many different things, from running a marathon, to finding a new healthy snack, to getting out of bed in the morning when you really don’t want to. It’s not a virtue that you can obtain or ever completely accomplish, but rather a continuous journey to improve your well-being.
There will be bumps in the road, and you will not always be good to yourself; you’ll even be kind of gross half the time. There will always be new things that you supposedly “should” be doing differently. I say this is no one’s wellness but yours, so a lot of what you “should” be doing is unique to your own fabulous self.