The average person can read about 200 to 300 words per minute. This article is around 1,350 words, which means it should take you about five and a half minutes to read. If you read it twice (just to make sure you didn’t miss anything), that’s 11 minutes. Not much, in the grand scheme of things – but when it’s the difference between saving a life, those 11 minutes mean everything.
September is suicide prevention month, which was something that sort of just echoed in the back of my mind for most of my Septembers – until this year, when one night I found myself opening Google and frantically searching up “what to do when your best friend tells you she’s considering suicide.” My friend survived that night, but there are tens of thousands of people in America every year who don’t. According to the CDC, in 2020, 45,979 people in the United States died from suicide – that’s one person every 11 minutes.
Every 11 minutes – that’s the statistic that stood out to me during my panic-stricken night of Googling. I began to wonder what the stats might say if everyone could take just 11 minutes to educate themselves on suicide prevention. So here’s a compilation of everything I’ve learned this month, in hopes that next time someone comes to a friend in need, zero minutes will be wasted on Google.
Minute 1: know the facts.
The CDC reports that suicide is in the top 9 leading causes of death for people ages 10 – 64 in the United States. Approximately 46,000 Americans died from suicide in 2020, and millions more seriously considered, planned, or attempted suicide. Suicide also disproportionately affects men, people of color, members of the LGBTQ+ community, veterans, rural community members, and tribal populations. In short, suicide is a very real problem, and it’s likely that it affects someone you know and love.
Minute 2: Recognize the warning signs.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, some warning signs that someone may be considering suicide include withdrawing from friends and family, giving away important possessions, taking dangerous risks, extreme mood swings, changes in eating or sleeping habits, and/or increased use of drugs or alcohol. Mayo Clinic reports that some further signs may be talking about suicide, preoccupation with death, saying goodbyes, or getting the means with which to end one’s life. If you recognize any of these signs in a loved one, it is important to check in and assess whether they may be in danger. If you recognize any of these signs in yourself, don’t hesitate to tell someone or call a suicide hotline (in the US, the number is 988.)
Minute 3: Have the conversation.
When discussing suicide or self harm with a loved one who you are concerned about, Mayo Clinic suggests that you be sensitive but direct. Start by telling your loved one that you care about them and are worried about them. Some questions you could ask are: “Do you ever think about hurting yourself?” “Have you ever thought about or attempted suicide?” “Have you thought about getting help from a medical professional?” Remember, by asking directly about self harm or suicide and not putting a taboo on the topic, you are allowing your loved one to voice their real thoughts and feelings without censorship. You are not “giving them ideas” – you are simply creating a safe space for them to be honest.
Minute 4: Don’t judge.
If you have never experienced depression or thoughts of self harm or suicide, it may be difficult to understand why someone may want to hurt themselves. It is vital not to judge someone for feeling this way – these thoughts are out of their control. Mayo Clinic states that remaining supportive and judgment free is vital to continuing to be someone who your loved one feels safe opening up to.
Minute 5: Get help if your loved one is in immediate danger.
If your loved one tells you they have attempted suicide or plan to, don’t hesitate to get help. Even if your loved one asks you not to tell anyone, if their life is in danger, it is essential to act quickly. Mayo Clinic encourages making sure your loved one is not left alone – call 911 or take them to the hospital if they have harmed themself. If they have not harmed themselves but you believe they might, it may be necessary to tell a family member or close friend to keep a close eye on them if you are unable to do so yourself. Encourage your loved one to call a suicide hotline if they are thinking of acting on their harmful thoughts.
Minute 6: Seek treatment for your loved one.
If the person is not in immediate danger but still experiencing severe depression or suicidal thoughts, Mayo Clinic suggests telling them to seek professional help and offering to help them take steps to getting treatment. This can include researching possible treatment options like a doctor or mental health provider, a support group, a crisis center, or a faith community. This also may include making phone calls or going with them to appointments. Mayo Clinic offers an important reminder that you can offer support and advice, but you cannot fulfill the role of a mental health provider.
Minute 7: Remember progress isn’t linear.
Your loved one will not immediately be “cured,” even if they begin therapy or start taking antidepressants. They will have good days and bad days, and the road to recovery is not an easy one. Continue to support them no matter where they are on their journey, and remember to remain judgment free and do not blame them for their feelings.
Minute 8: Advocate for societal change.
You can do a lot for someone on an individual level, but the CDC reminds us that suicide prevention requires changes in the structures of our society as well. The CDC’s Preventing Suicide: A Technical Package of Policies, Programs, and Practices outlines steps for this kind of social change, including strengthening economic supports, strengthening access and delivery of suicide care, creating protective environments, promoting connectedness, teaching coping and problem-solving skills, identifying and supporting people at risk, and lessening harms and preventing future risks.
Minute 9: Spread Awareness.
Quite honestly, I wasn’t aware of the far reaching impact of suicide until someone close to me was affected. It is exceedingly important to tell your family, friends, and peers why suicide is a problem, and to promote education about suicide prevention. Spreading awareness also destigmatizes the conversation around suicide–the more it is acknowledged and normalized, the more people will feel comfortable speaking up and asking for help.
Minute 10: Check on your friends.
You never know who may be suffering from depression or suicidal thoughts. If you notice a friend or family member who seems stressed or isn’t acting like themselves, check in. Be a safe avenue of communication for your loved ones, and offer your support when they are going through hard times.
Minute 11: Check on yourself.
Being a supportive friend to someone else can be hard if you are struggling with your own mental health. If you are dealing with depression or suicidal thoughts, don’t be afraid to tell someone you’re close to or call a suicide hotline. Trust your friends and family to care for you the same way you would for them, and know that things do get better. Cliche, I know, but it’s true.
September may be over now, but suicide prevention is a topic that matters to millions of Americans every single day. Chances are that you or someone you love is struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts and needs support. In a day and age where everything is faster and busier, it can be hard to spare five minutes, let alone 11. However, I can guarantee you’ll thank yourself later for the minutes you spent educating yourself today – minutes that could help you secure a lifetime with the people you love.