It’s December. That means finals are approaching and the semester is ending. It also means that it’s time, like every other semester, to reflect on the good and bad that happened this semester and see what progress I’ve made.
Last fall semester, my first one in college, I mentioned how I felt a disconnection between the different months of the year and that there were different “eras” within one semester. Surprisingly, that was not the case this year. When I look back at the previous months, they all feel interconnected and part of a single thread. However, I still feel like I’ve grown as a person during the stretch of time between August and today.
Oversharing Online
One of the biggest ways I’ve grown this semester is by being conscious of how I share online.
During my senior year of high school and my freshman year of college, I began to notice the amount of “purposeless” content I shared on my social media accounts. While I am all for the idea that you shouldn’t be ashamed of posting on your social media, because it is yours, I am also all for posting content for yourself, not others. I wasn’t doing that my freshman year of college, but I believe I am now. Everything that I post has a purpose for me, and it is genuinely because I want to share it to make myself happy. I am making a “digital diary” that others can see, but at the end of the day, it is for me.
Every time I’ve wanted to post something, I’ve thought to myself, why am I sharing this? Is it because I want others to see what I’m doing and comment on it? Or is it because I want to share it for myself? At first, everything was because I wanted others to see, but later, I stopped feeling the urge to post my every action online.
Seeking Validation
As someone who overthinks like crazy, one of the ways I am able to feel I’ve done something right is by seeking validation from literally anyone. This has always been a trend in my life: I’ve sought it from teachers, friends and family, and interactions on social media. Validation has both fueled me to keep going and prevented me from doing many things. Shortly after I realized I was oversharing online for validation, I sat down to reflect on everything I’ve done solely for the purpose of impressing someone. That reflection made me realize that I have been living for others and not myself, so I set myself the intention to change that.
I was able to change this way of living by, once again, seeking purpose in my actions and doing what I was truly comfortable with and what I wanted instead of what others wanted.
In doing so, not only did I have a lot more fun, free from the feelings of judgment from others, but I also became more confident in myself, my appearance, and my knowledge.
The Value of Alone time
I’ve always known that I’m an introvert and a homebody, but I think this past summer and this semester have truly shown me the great value of having time for myself. Don’t get me wrong, I love hanging out with my friends and spending time at home, but I also love getting back to my dorm and decompressing quietly and by myself.
This semester, I solidified my nighttime routine, which I follow to a tee (turning my fairy lights and lamp on, changing into my PJs, completing my skin care routine, and reading in bed for 30 minutes before going to sleep). Being able to just be alone with myself before I have to go to sleep is so healing, in my opinion.
Not only have I learned about being alone, but I’ve also learned how to do things by myself, such as eating, attending events on campus, and going to concerts. I went to my first solo concert this year, and it was so freeing not to have to rely on anyone else with questions regarding planning and going. I feel so much more independent this year; it also makes me feel like a true adult.
Closing
Looking back on my previous reflections, I see how much I’ve changed each college semester, and I love it. People say college is one of the most amazing years of your life, that it’s when you change and grow, and I can confidently say that it has been that and more for me.
I am eager to see how I’ll continue to change and grow with every experience in college.