With spring break right around the corner, swimsuits are starting to pop up in stores and the societal pressure to look perfect begins to creep up on us. The term “bikini ready body” originated from “ad campaign by a chain of weight-loss salons called Slenderella International” where they’d advertise celebrities in hopes of inspiring the audience to follow their diets. Regardless, once women’s bodies became plastered all over magazines, television shows, and billboards, social expectations began to follow suit.
The problem starts with comparing
Though I can’t speak for everyone, I know that my obsession with comparison began in fifth grade. Why are her clothes so much cuter than mine? How come the boys won’t talk to me like they do to her? Why doesn’t my body look like that in those pants? Hundreds of insecurities swarmed my brain, but I only truly started feeling self-conscious in seventh grade, when I moved. Originally I didn’t feel too bad about myself when I was surrounded by people I had grown up with, but once I started at a new school, there were so many new and pretty faces – I felt like an ugly outsider.
With social media infiltrating our daily lives, it’s almost impossible to avoid catching glimpses of other people’s lives, faces, bodies, etc. Fixating too much on things we might not have can lead us to be miserable, unhappy, depressed, and more. Ultimately, this can lead to us hating on ourselves and our bodies without realizing it. Even though we should take these small snippets of people’s lives as simply that – snippets – we have a tendency to idolize these people, or pieces of them, and lower our ideas of our self-worth.
What does my body actually look like?
Short answer: I have no idea.
Every time I walk past a mirror, or any sort of reflective surface, I catch a glimpse of myself – my body – and I feel like I look different each time. Sometimes smaller, sometimes bigger… basically I don’t have any idea of what my body actually looks like. Which doesn’t help since I can’t tell if I like the reflection I’m seeing or not. Regardless, I’m at a complete loss when I picture my body. Of course, this creates issues when shopping – especially now that it’s warmer out and I want to wear cute, small tops – because I end up feeling delusional when I try on clothes, thinking they’ll look cute, and they don’t.
Having a supportive partner during this stage of life can be helpful, but sometimes I feel like he’s feeding into the delusions as well. While I won’t complain when he calls me the “most beautiful girl ever” or whatever, sometimes those compliments go straight to my head and I feel like I’m on cloud nine… until I look in a mirror again. That reality strike is humbling, to say the least.
The issue with this is, though I might think my boyfriend is blind, that doesn’t mean he isn’t being honest. We spend so much time staring at our own features that they often lose their beauty and uniqueness. From fresh eyes, we’d probably gain an appreciation for our appearance, but we’ve gotten so used to it that we start having negative thoughts surrounding ourselves.
How to love your body
If I knew the secret to loving yourself and your body, trust me, I’d tell you. However, this has been an ongoing battle for me, as I’m sure it has for you. Rather than loving yourself, perhaps it’s better to appreciate it. Firstly, our bodies make sure we’re able to make it from point A to point B, our bodies are strong and can help us carry five hundred bags of groceries in one trip, and our bodies are unique – there is not a single person that has the same exact body type, shape, etc. as yours. There are ways we can honor this appreciation by doing self-care practices, eating food that makes us feel good, and so much more.
With spring and summer creeping up on us, it’s easy to find ourselves falling into a pit of self-hated and insecurities. There’s nothing wrong about feeling self-conscious from time-to-time, but being stuck in this negative headspace surrounding yourself and your body can destroy relationships. Relationships with family, friends, and food, especially. Though I encourage you to try and love yourself for who you are, that’s easier said than done. Rather shift your mindset from love to being grateful. Be grateful for your strong body and mind, appreciate the skills you have, and remind yourself that you might be blind to your own beauty.
There is so much life we have left to live; it would be a waste to spend these years dwelling on how our legs look in these shorts, or how our stomach looks in that dress. Time is going to fly by, whether we like it or not, so why should we sit in our own self-hatred? Shouldn’t we “seize the day” and join our friends and families for meals? If we spend every day chasing something “better”, we might miss the amazing things that are right in front of us.
If you or someone you know struggles with an eating disorder, there are many of resources that you can reach out to: Alsana, Equip Health, National Eating Disorders Association, and more.