All too often university life can feel like too much to do in too little time. Balancing essays, presentations, exams with other obligations to athletics, societies, job hunting, and still finding time to socialize can leave you feeling like there’s a near constant pressure that’s hard to catch a break from. Adding more work into your life may seem counterintuitive to finding yourself less stressed, but having a goal that’s solely for yourself can help preserve a bit of sanity in the rush of a busy life.
The activities that fill up a student’s schedule are often linked to the expectations of others: from professors’ grades to teammates’ expectations, it rarely feels like hard work doesn’t come with some self-consciousness. The pressure from this publicity can be positive, fear of embarrassment or disappointment can be the necessary push that unlocks an extra level of effort. However, this fear of falling short of other people’s expectations can also lead quickly to burnout, defeatism, and a warped perspective on exactly why you’re putting in the work to start with.
I’ve struggled for years with finding motivation to work only out of fear of disappointing others. In high school I never wanted to let down my teachers or my parents with bad grades, I never wanted to let my coaches or teammates down by having a bad race. Rather than giving it my all for the sake of being able to enjoy a win, I mostly found myself working hard in an attempt to avoid the disappointment and guilt of failure. By the time I got to university, I still struggled to motivate myself through tactics other than fear. However, I could see this approach often just caused more harm than good, spiking my anxiety and causing more panic than productivity. These nerves only added to feelings of burnout.
Last spring, in an effort to fix my painful inflexibility I decided I needed to start stretching every day. I set the arbitrary goal of learning to do the splits in order to focus my stretching but I quickly realized as silly as the skill was, working on it gave me a renewed sense of personal accomplishment. The joy from practicing a skill that no one was expecting me to perfect led to me adopting several new goals in the following months: reading every day, learning a new language, running regularly, even the currently very far off goal of learning to do a handstand. These aren’t inconsequential goals because all of the skills I’m working on aren’t important, far from it. They’re inconsequential because although I want to improve these skills, there’s no pressing external demand for me to learn them. While knowing how to speak a second language would be incredibly handy, I’m managing to get through life okay for now monolingual. I’m only trying to improve my French because I want to, not because anybody else is expecting me to.
Will anyone be worse off if I fall off schedule with my reading habits or if I miss a run? Probably not! These goals don’t need a timeline or to carry any sort of heavy expectations. These activities are for my happiness and wellbeing and for my benefit alone. I incorporate them into my routine because I want to be able to enjoy the results, beating myself up about not making enough progress or not being good enough would only counteract my goals with them.
Working towards self-improvement is as centering as it is rewarding. It feels great to always have at least a small something I know I’m striving for. It helps me avoid feelings of stagnation and burnout. Working on these inconsequential goals helps me keep perspective on the facets of my life that have nothing to do with school. It reminds me that skills don’t have to be innate, they can be learned over time.
But this self-improvement shouldn’t have to be harsh or focused on shortcomings. It should feel good to be achieving your goals, not just feel like a relief to be free from the anxiety of failing to reach your goals. In an often high-stress environment of university, punctuated by deadlines and grades and overbooked schedules, it can feel great to devote a little time everyday to something just for yourself, following your timeline, without any judgement of your performance or your progress. Introducing a personal goal, striving for a skill that would bring you joy but is in no way an immediate necessity, can bring back a sense of agency and accomplishment into a busy life.