The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
Breakups are, quite frankly, the worst. You have to grieve someone you’ve lost and it’s a special kind of pain. Some people may be pretty solid at handling breakups, moving through the emotions and getting back to life – like absolute superheroes. But it is completely okay to not be okay with the process, too.
There is no one way to go through a breakup, but there are some basic practices for maintaining your health through the storm. If you want some tips on how to deal with this without losing yourself, then you’ve come to a good place. I will preface this by saying that I am not a trained professional, I’m just a gal hoping to help others out with some personal tips. Now, without further ado, let’s get through this.
This first step is the ugliest and most necessary to getting through a breakup. Don’t bottle up what you’re feeling. Grieve. Seek some support and reach out to family or friends, cry on their shoulders, yell in their cars and ride the waves with someone. Cry and don’t stop crying, even if it’s been days and you’re hiding in your bed. Find your refuge and feel it all.
Ask your body what it needs.
Sometimes it can be a lot to balance self care and life’s responsibilities, so start with base level stuff and work from there. However you may be feeling, take the time to assess what your body needs to keep going. If you put off taking care of your body, you’re going to feel worse.
Channel your pain into productivity (temporarily).
Maybe you need to focus on something else. Or maybe you need to utilize what you’re feeling and do something with it. Either way, our responsibilities aren’t going to stop. Aggressively clean your house. Write poetry. Finish all of your homework for the week (or just the night, we don’t need to be super ambitious). Finding a project to work on, big or small, can help shift your focus and build your positive emotions back up. Let me emphasize that this is not a long-term solution and can be misused. Don’t run away from the feelings by overworking yourself or doing anything similar. We stan healthy productivity.
music can heal.
Music is always the answer. Make your own playlist or browse the abundance of sad hour playlists on Spotify, but find some music to saddle up with for a bit. You are the main character of your story, so establish your theme music and let it surround you.
You can sulk if you want to.
Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel. You’re allowed to feel horrible or mad. Your healing process is going to last however long it needs to, as long as you are being healthy about it. Just don’t stay in the hole forever, okay? You are never alone.
Delete their number, their socials, the messages you have and the photos you’re still pouring over. Get rid of their things. Ask a friend to help you drop their belongings off at their place or donate them to a shelter or donation box of your choice. We’re not holding on to the past (unless it’s nice stuff, then keep that sh*t). The only thing that you have control over now is what you allow to affect you, so it’s time to decide what that will be. We are not begging for anything or anyone to stay.