Living Through Depression: Shellise’s Story

Three words to describe my personal experience with depression: Trying, painful and tiring.

Depression, a word that is merely 10 letters long, but it is one that has been in my life for the past year in a much more significant way than those 10 letters can ever represent.

I am a college student who has been living with depression and it is no easy battle. This can be seen in the number of people who have become consumed by it that it is statistically now the number one  reason why students drop out college.

About one out of every four college students experience depression and everyone's case is different.

For example, my very own experience, is centered around not feeling like I was good enough for a relationship and in life.

Traveling over 2,000 miles to New York City from the Bay Area, I had the hope of getting to know someone who did not care for me, leaving me to walk throughout the streets and up to 42nd street viewing the bright lights of Times Square alone.

Arriving home after the failed trip, depression had taken over my body and mind. I was left to question myself, my identity and my every thought for days as I layed in my humid room day and night.

A summer full of tears and plenty of sleepless nights followed and I thought jet lag was causing all of the problems I was having.

It took five months to realize what I had been dealing with was not the jet lag, or stress from school, but was actually depression, and it was only through utilizing the counseling and psychological services on campus that I was able to be helped to relieve my depression.

In my case, reliving each experience that led to my depression allowed me to gain a different outlook on life. However, according to research on Healthline.com, 45 percent of college students fail to seek help for depression and therefore do not receive the help they so desperately need. 

Before admitting to my problem, I had to be accepting of myself and my feelings and I also had to make sure that I was ready to tell my story.

Attending counseling sessions throughout the semester allowed me to talk about my problems with someone who was willing to listen to me when I felt no one else would.

Opening my mind up to another place and switching roles did not only aid in my depression, but it did also help me to move on from the place that I had been stuck in and changed my life for better!

I smile more and cry less, but it's important to know that I still have problems that need to be talked about on a personal level. Depression doesn't just leave when you tell it to and it is something that I am learning to work through everyday. 

For any women attending SJSU who may be experiencing mental issues, there is help for you on campus.

Becoming comfortable with a licensed professional who is ready to talk to you about your troubles no matter what they are, is so important and the Student Wellness Center is here for you.

The Counseling and Psychological Services center is located in room 300B in the Student Wellness Center, and is there to work with you in any way you need.

Additional help include an after hours advice nurse that you can call at 1-866-935-6347.

Off campus resources for students also include the Bay Area Self Help Line at 1-800-273-6222