As college students, we are under immense quantities of pressure. It’s important to remind yourself that everyone’s struggling to some extent. The pressure type isn’t homogeneous for everybody, rather the pressure derives from various internal and external factors. Whether it’s your parents who hold you to high expectations, your needing a 3.5 plus GPA to get into med school, your holding yourself to extremely high standards, some are living away from home for the first time and struggle to live autonomously (doing laundry, making your own bed, scheduling your own routine), you work two jobs to pay off your student loans and don’t have time to make the due date for the final paper. I’ve found that many more people struggle than you know and feel deeply anxious. Not everyone thrives, everybody has their own shit to deal with. However, some conceal their anxieties better than others. It’s very important for our mental health and self-esteem to find the little ways every day that cultivates a sense of meaning or purpose. I take the time to appreciate the little things and execute an act of service (to myself or for others), I feel more connected to nature and content with what I have, rather than constantly striving for more. How do I know this? When I wasn’t taking adequate care of myself I found myself deeply entrenched within the cycle of “not enough” and consistently striving for more, more, more. I still struggle with this feeling occasionally, but now I’ve realized that it’s the simple pleasures where I learn the most about myself and feel calmer. Buying a nice handbag at Barneys isn’t what makes me feel good in the long term or adds meaning to my life. It’s the short-term gratification and thrill that I experience. Yes, it’s nice to treat yourself to nice objects every so often, but what you wear isn’t who you are. Objects can be destroyed at any given time, but your values are permanent until you die.
Self-care hasn’t been always easy for me and I continue to develop and evolve my regimen every day. Rewind two years ago to freshman year of college. The struggle bus accelerated at an alarmingly fast pace and I had a front row seat. Yes, the college freshman struggle was #tooreal. My diet consisted of pizza, soda, bagels topped with sweet schmear, and the pastries from the dining hall. All the healthy foods were stale or of low quality, so I heavily relied on the greasy, carb dining hall foods as my forms of sustenance. My priorities looked a lot different as well. Partying with friends in decrepit, moldy frat basements and eating at chain restaurant establishments (to avoid the pig slop my college served humans) whenever I could be were my top jobs. Now those two events couldn’t seem less appealing to me. I’d rather host a dinner party with friends and cook for them. I was just trying to adjust on campus, establish my on campus identity, make new friends, find my niche, and learn to coexist in a janitor’s closet of a room with another human being (as most college rooming situations go). I felt anxious a majority of the time as well as drowsy, overweight, and retail therapy was never more #real. Shopping, social media, unhealthy foods, and watching “Gossip Girl” or “Sex and The City” marathons were how I “balanced” my life and kept my self-occupied in my leisure time. I rarely meditated or practiced mindfulness – I had never even fathomed that now I would meditate daily, which has proven extremely key to me today.
Fast forward to now as a 21-year-old junior, my mind has expanded and grown to say the least. I cook 80% of my meals in my apartment. I have tried so many different diets from vegan to the juice cleanse and I haven’t been able to stick to the plan. Currently, what I do is eat the same exact meal for breakfast and lunch every day and come dinner time, I eat whatever my heart desires. In the morning, I whip up a fruit-vegetable smoothie in my handy dandy Nutri Bullet. For lunch, I whisk a spinach, mushroom, feta omelets on top of whole grain toast. For a beverage, I couple my lean meal with matcha green tea for my antioxidant boost. Then for dinner, I cook Chinese stir fry in my wok – usually with egg, peas, soy sauce, shrimp, and spinach. I’ve found that creating a meal schedule/routine has been incredibly helpful. It’s like wearing a uniform to school every day – you don’t have to worry about out what to wear because its already laid out for you. I am aware of technology’s detrimental, long lasting effects on my happiness – thus I rarely watch TV shows anymore, rather I’ve swapped to podcast listening. I’ve learned a plethora of new facts and narratives from listening to “Girl boss Radio with Sophia Amoroso” to “The Minimalists with Joshua Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus”. The great thing about podcasts is that I can stimulate my mind in an accessible fashion and it doesn’t require gawking at a screen. So for me, I’ve found healthier, more nourishing alternatives to my old lifestyle. It’s not about complete extinguishment of old habits rather tweaking those habits to better benefit you.
In my experience and perspective, it’s about doing the right and sometimes difficult thing for myself in order to provide my life with a bit more meaning and purpose. \As a college student who works three jobs, constantly on the go, it’s crucial I take time to breathe, relax, and treat myself occasionally. Self-care denotes doing specifically what’s nourishing and stimulating for my mind, soul, body, and spirit. Sometimes it’s not easy to push through and unplug all my electronics to meditate and do breathing exercises. I continue to do that because success is all about short term pain for long term What works is different for everyone, as all humans are individual beings who develop unique ways of coping. All summer for three months straight, I participated in yoga classes for an hour or more five times per week, sometimes more. From savasana to crow pose, I learned a great deal about myself. I learned that I’m stronger than I thought I was, as well as that I can withhold nothingness and simply exist. Not only could I physically hold my balance better, but I noticed that even with reading I was able to mentally absorb more information than usual and enjoy the prose. I had heard about all the amazing benefits of yoga such as reducing anxiety and stress, meaning I could sleep better as well as my skin was glowing. Because when one neglects to sleep well, our bodies produce more cortisol, which ends up clogging our pores and further perpetuating the insomnia cycle. Lastly, the most important benefit of yoga is that I felt more confident and had less social anxiety. Yoga helped remind me that everyone’s trying their best, so smiling and being kind can have rippling effects for others and better the community. Overall, I HIGHLY recommend that you try a yoga class.
Our thoughts dictate our actions. Our actions define who we are; therefore, when we can monitor and turn our minds, we control our beings. I cannot emphasize enough how important balancing the yin and yang and forging the middle path of what life is. By yin, yang, middle path I’m talking about diplomacy. Being able to shift the black and white negative thought patterns into more grey thoughts, which are more realistic. For example, Black and white thought: “I can’t stand her, she NEVER replies to my texts yet leaves her read receipts on, she’s such a bitch.” Re-framing thought: “It’s finals season and I’m sure she has a lot on her plate. It’s frustrating she still hasn’t replied. It’s not an attack on me, but a projection of her own struggles and anxieties”. Your professor who gave you a C on the paper you slaved away at isn’t a rude bitch, perhaps it was a mixture of your lack of understanding and the subjectiveness of college essays which caused the bad results. I notice I’m able to better straddle this middle path of thinking when I take care of myself.
One of the main pillars of my self-care routine is making my bed. It has been ever since having viewed the YouTube video of the Navy seal preaching bed-making, I haven’t missed a single day of making mine for the last five months (proud to say) – “If you make your bed every morning, you will have accomplished the first task of the day…It will give you a small sense of pride, and it will encourage you to do another task, and another, and another. And by the end of the day that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed”. I promise you will feel more in control and organized when you return back to your made bed after a long day of classes. For me, coming home to a clean room and made bed feels refreshing and like I’m returning to zen, harmonious environment. When my environment is physically organized and tidy, I feel more in control and less stressed out. Now that it’s become an integral role of my morning, I don’t think twice about it – it’s just simply innate.
Constructing meaning does not imply spending money on clothes at Urban Outfitters or Brandy Melville; consumerism is not the most healing for our souls. There are alternative ways to blow off steam and to calm oneself. Yes, shopping can be a fun excursion, but if the intention behind buying large bags of clothes you don’t need because your boyfriend just broke up with you, perhaps check in with yourself. For me, meaning is thinking about how I can nourish my 1) Mind, 2) Body, 3) Soul, 4) Setting boundaries with myself, and 5) Contributions and acts of benevolence. In order to remind myself, my wallpaper on my iPhone are these 5 questions. I try to be mindful and complete at least two to three of the questions every day because I know that completing all five can be a bit ambitious and unrealistic with my crazy hectic schedule.
1. How can I stimulate my mind and think critically?
“Write a journal entry and/or read a book”
2. What workout will I do today for my mental clarity?
“Jog around the city in my usual lap loop and then I will feel a bit calmer and happier”
3. How can I best stick to my moral code and value sets?
“Be truthful and try my 150% best at as many things I can do. Try my best and admit when I mess up. Honesty comes a long way, especially within the workplace”
4. What limitations can be cognizant of today?
“Minimizing my social media usage and turning of all my electronic one hour before I slumber”
5. How can I help another human today or be of service?
“Perhaps opening the door for someone else or perhaps giving some donation to a homeless person”
Listen y’all, self-care is about doing what’s best for you no matter what other people think or are doing. It’s about defying trends and being your own hero. You are in control. You mold your own world. You shape your tools and your tools then shape you – so pick your tools wisely! Yes, bad things happen in life and will affect you, but ultimately you choose your reaction. Will you wallow in the depths of pity and despair or choose to continue forward and find pleasurable solutions? It’s about being okay in isolation and fighting for yourself and your own happiness every day. How can you meet your own emotional, mental, and physical needs without being codependent? I hope you can reflect and ponder ways in which you can construct meaning within your daily life. How are you going to implement new habits and routines to feel your best self? Namaste and seize the day ladies <3