Girl vs. the World

Life has a funny way of throwing punches at you. One minute, everything is in order and going according to your plans. It’s as if you’ve finally found your groove and are in touch with yourself again. Unfortunately, the next moment may feel like an utter disaster. It’s as if all those things that you built up, worked hard for and had planned in a specific way are now in shambles. Whenever I’m in this place I’m always left wondering: how can I recover from this?

Throughout my life I have been dealt both good and bad hands. I think this is especially important to note because it's easy to get overwhelmed and swept up in this low--so much so that we forget that other people around us are also struggling. This is in no way to downplay or belittle one's own struggles, but it's something to be aware of. Pain and suffering varies per person and is not meant to be compared. A saying that has stuck with me is that when two people are drowning, it doesn’t matter if one of them is drowning in 10 feet of water or 50 feet, they’re both still drowning. This has given me the awareness that I’m not alone in the ways I’m feeling.

Something that has helped me through these situations has been talking. Simply discussing what I’m feeling with someone else is a big part of accepting the situations life presents to me. I know from personal experience that keeping emotions bottled up is not healthy and makes me feel significantly worse. There have been days that I open my eyes and lay in bed so overwhelmed by my thoughts that it inhibits my ability to do work. I’m stuck in the endless lists of responsibilities I have to furthering my career and functioning as a human being. Not only do these moments prevent me from getting my work done, but it heightens my anxiety and increases the amount of stress I’m feeling. It’s in these moments where I have to be honest with myself and realize that by keeping these thoughts internal, it’s only making my situation worse. Sometimes these spiraling thoughts get so bad that I find myself in a very dark mental space. It’s a space I don’t feel worthy and I feel like giving up. Whenever I find myself in this space it’s crucial for me to get out of my head and talk to someone. One of my favorite people to talk to is my sister. She’s four years younger than me, and has been my best friend for my whole life. She is patient, understanding and always knows the right things to say to comfort me. Thus surrounding yourself with people who are there to listen is a big part of why I’m able to get through my lows and come out on the other side stronger.

Every day might not be one of my best days, but I wake up the next and try again. I’m not sure if this is because I have so much at stake or because of my own self-determination, but whichever it is, it has gotten me here to where I am.

Personally, I’ve always been ambitious and focused about the path I wanted to go down. I’ve had everything organized and planned to a T, as if I had found a magic formula and if I just followed it, I would get where I wanted to go. But then again, life doesn’t always work like that, and sometimes we are given the unexpected. Life is more than just sticking to your plans, and sometimes it’s through not sticking to your plans where you learn the most about yourself.

So what’s the point of all of this? I wanted to share my emotions and struggles with you all to let you know you’re not alone. I believe in you, and you can believe in yourself, too. It might seem impossible at first, but you just have to keep taking it one day at a time. Don’t let one bad day bring you down. Keep chasing your dreams and working hard. Results will come with time. Be patient with yourself. Count your small victories and try your best to embrace change, because that’s the only constant thing in life.