The One Specific Thing to Never Say To a Suicidal Person

Suicide is a difficult subject to handle and talk about and when brought up it should be addressed appropriately and with care. Want to know the only thing harder than the concept of suicide itself? Dealing with suicidal thoughts. It’s a dark, scary atmosphere that leaves you confused and lost in your own mind between endless despair and silent numbness at a point where you feel that nothing matters because life is already a heartbreak enough as it is. There are many ways to be compassionate and understanding to those who are struggling with suicidal thoughts and to help them get to a place where they can properly cope in a healthy manner. However, just like with how there are many positive ways we can impact our loved ones, we can also have a negative force onto those who stay struggling whether they suffer silently or are more open about it.There are so many reasons why suicidal people suffer through their battles silently because our society tends to have this toxic mentality that wants to stigmatise or “shut up” those who are struggling, essentially bullying them into silence until there is a breaking point. One thing in particular is the one saying that is commonly brought up from time to time: “You will hurt your family/loved ones.”

While the idea of saying that phrase is to get the person to realise that they aren’t completely alone and they have people who care about them, it can come across as anything but. Based on my experience, it can almost seem as if that’s the only reason why I should keep on living. To that, I say why should I live just for the benefit of others? I should want to live for myself, I want to have reasons for MYSELF as to why I want to stay alive and even love living. What about those who don’t have a strong support system whether they’ve lived a life of full-on toxicity or have dealt with abusive/toxic family members? What would you say to them? As much as I can see some good intent with, “You will hurt your loved ones/your loved ones will be devastated,” this is a case where the end result outweighs the initial intent.

I should want to live for the benefit of myself and want to give myself reasons why I want to live and not just why I want to live for someone else’s satisfaction. To me, it’s even unhealthier to think that my sole purpose for existence is to make somebody else feel happy and fulfilled, that’s literally what some people would describe as a form of addictive codependency.

Next time you are in a situation where you need to reach out a hand to someone in need or someone who is at their breaking point, tell yourself this: It’s about them right now, give them reasons why they alone should want to live for themselves as if they still have personal goals for them to achieve. After all, we are all stuck with ourselves 24/7, so we might as well love our individual selves and give ourselves reasons why we want to live for our own benefit. Remember, it’s not selfish if it’s in the name of self-care.