I’ve always been someone who loves to be active—running, hiking, skiing, swimming, playing sports—you name it. I’ve been an athlete for most of my life, but that chapter closed when I came to college. I was never exceptional at the sports I played, but I stuck with soccer and softball for seven years, and basketball for four. I never considered playing at the collegiate level, and Division I was never in the cards.
Since stepping away from high school sports, I’ve fallen out of shape and lost the physical edge I once had. In high school, I was putting in at least 12 hours of practice each week, squeezing in runs and workouts during every break. Summers were filled with training sessions to prepare for camp and preseason. Staying fit wasn’t just a goal; it was a necessity to play at the level expected of me.
At the end of senior year, I promised myself I’d stay active. I even created a strict workout schedule tailored to my busy lifestyle. I rotated through workout partners, either my friends or my sister, but eventually, everyone dropped off. Life got hectic, and the gym slipped lower on my list of priorities.
My first real push to get back into fitness came in 2020, during the rise of Chloe Ting workouts. I was determined to emerge from quarantine unrecognizable and in the best shape of my life. My nights were filled with embarrassing home workouts and Pilates sessions, all in pursuit of my dream body. I stuck with it for a few months, but eventually, that motivation faded too.
The Richter Center here on campus has seen me on both my best and worst days. At the start of the semester, my friends and I had a solid routine—hitting the gym midday between classes, rushing to shower and eat before our next class. Now, we show up an hour before closing and stay until we’re kicked out. I wish I could say we’re consistent, but the truth is, we sometimes skip entirely or only do about 20 minutes of actual work.
My relationship with the gym is complicated. I love the feeling after a tough ab workout or a long run because of the sense of productivity and accomplishment that comes with it. However, I hate the frustration that comes when I fall short of my goals. A busy schedule and lack of motivation often lead to skipped workouts, which then spiral into guilt. I try to remind myself that it’s okay to rest, as long as I’m still caring for my body in other ways.
For the rest of the semester, I want to hold myself accountable to show up daily, work to be the best version of myself, and allow rest days without the weight of guilt. I hope to get back into the routine I once had, and to feel the best I can.