There comes to a point in time where we each have our own ‘episode’ of mental breakdowns, stress over endless papers and projects or even with personal things, and as well as feeling alone – even when surrounded by people. Some students have it worse than others but it is still a serious matter, no matter how big or how small. As you can guess this topic is about anxiety, depression, and some our our writer’s personal stories.
For those who are not aware about anxiety or depression, here are simple definitions:
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Anxiety — a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome
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Depression — an illness that involves the body, mood, and thoughts and that affects the way a person eats, sleeps, feels about himself or herself, and thinks about things
Some symptoms of anxiety and depression:
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Constant, irrational fear and worry
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Physical symptoms like rapid heartbeat, fatigue, headaches, hot flashes, sweating, abdominal pain, and difficulty breathing
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Changes in eating, either too much or too little
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Difficulty with memory, decision making, and concentration
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Constant feelings of sadness or worthlessness
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Loss of interest in hobbies and activities
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Feeling tired and cranky
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Inability to relax
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Panic attacks
It is to be known that these two are the most common mental disorders in our society today.
Being a college student, you would think we would be able to handle everything that comes our way, but little did we know about ourselves, there is only so much we can handle. From my personal experience as well with one of my really close friends, we all have our own story and it deserves to be heard. Not that many people realize how serious it can be especially in a college setting with all the stress that gets thrown in our faces. If some don’t get the help they need it could honestly lead to worse things, things that are so common in our society. And yes, if you haven’t guessed it already, it is some form of self-harm or even suicide. But this all can be prevented and there are numerous ways we can help ourselves, friends, family, etc.
First, I want share with you readers about my really close friend here at Behrend. Let’s call her, Jane. Jane right now is a junior, majoring in psychology. She’s very active and involved with a lot on campus! She is definitely a genuine, self-less human being, and I’m so grateful to have met her on this crazy college journey.
Anonymous 1:
Jane: “Mental health disorders are a very real thing and the worst part is you don’t really know if someone is experiencing mental health symptoms without knowing their story. I’m going to let you all into my personal story and maybe it will help in your understanding about how to detect if someone is experiencing a mental health disorder and what you can do to help. As a college student, stress is a very common experience amongst the majority of us. Now imagine enhancing this feeling of stress x 10 and maybe this feeling will hit the surface of what it’s like to have both anxiety and depression while being a student in college. As a young girl I was abused for 9 years by my father, for those human development and psychology majors out there, we all know that during adolescence our brains are extremely vulnerable already. This changed my life forever in ways I never would have thought and i’m experiencing these consequences of my abuse both in my past and even now as an adult. I have found that it is extremely difficult for me to become close to any man, even walking past men in the halls gives me a tight feeling in my chest as I walk fast with my head down, trying not to relive my moments of fear. Even hearing someone raising their voice in a casual conversation with their friend sitting a few tables away in Bruno’s brings me back to what I had waiting for me everyday after coming home from a long day of school and practice. Before going into more depth, I must also let you know that as if my 9 years of abuse wasn’t enough to deal with, in 10th grade of highschool, sophmore year, I was sexually assaulted and raped by a male the same age as me. And just like a lot of cases, mine went untold. He was Mr. Football Star and I was a girl hiding behind my tough, jock image as an athlete all year round. I guess I was so involved in time demanding sports so I could escape the anxiety and pain of being at home just a little longer each day. However that didn’t work out as well as I expected. After my rape happened the next day the entire school got word of what had happened but not what I had expected. He had spread word that I was “asking for it” yet this wasn’t the case at all, and no one believed me. I lost my friends, my reputation, and myself. Through the humiliation and frustration of constant stares in the halls and side conversations as I walked past my fellow peers knowing this awful crime had been committed, I turned to an adult that I thought could help me, my mom. How do you explain to someone as close to you as your mother is that you were raped and going to school was reliving my rape every day? I had to do just that, yet after explaining everything to her I felt no better than I did before. My mom didn’t believe me when I explained, she made me take two pregnancy tests and told me it wasn’t rape. I had said all that I could, shouldn’t that be enough? This past summer I tried seeking help with these traumatic experiences on my own despite the fear of my parents finding out. With using my family’s insurance, they ended up receiving an explanation of benefits in the mail… I then had to explain myself. I found out my dad never knew about my rape because my mother didn’t tell him those 4 years ago. All because of she labeled me a dumb high school girl who had sex willingly and was crying rape because of humiliation. My grades had suffered extremely last semester and I had no idea why until a thought clicked one day… it was my sophomore year in spring semester which is when my rape happened in high school. Traumatic experiences stay with you for life. I also was having severe panic attacks constantly and I still do to this day because everyday something that seems normal can trigger a part of my traumatic experiences and make me relive it. Everyday is a struggle being around so many people with my social anxiety. I joined a sorority in hopes of helping me with this part of my illness and it has helped, but it will always be a deep struggle. I find it hard to participate in class discussions in fear of rejection, my love life is affected tremendously as well. My traumatic experiences, both involving males, after my rape I did not even think of dating in fear of any male I met, and I was abstinent for 4 years. I was scared and I am still scared today, but my current boyfriend helps me tremendously getting through things that trigger my anxiety and depression, he’s helped me in more ways than I have ever thought possible, physically and emotionally. When times get rough it’s always a blessing to have someone who is willing to build you up instead of questioning your feelings and giving up on you. I thank God everyday for the good things in life because God is why I am here today, if I didn’t find my faith sophomore year of highschool, I wouldn’t be sharing my story with you today. And to be honest I thank Him for these experiences because I am one of the strongest people I know and I continue to work on them everyday even when times get tough in college stress. College motivates me to beat my depression and anxiety, to be successful and have control of this part of my life. Because I am in control now and I plan to be for the rest of my long, happy life.” – Jane
How to Cope with Anxiety and Depression
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Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), which is often used to treat anxiety disorder with depression. CBT can teach people to manage their fears, anxieties, and depressive symptoms by figuring out what’s really causing them; people also learn how to take control of their emotions. Antidepressant medications, which may be prescribed to help treat both conditions. These drugs are often used in conjunction with CBT. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) are newer, commonly used antidepressants that offer fewer side effects than older antidepressants, according to the NIMH.
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Exercise, which can also help both depression and anxiety disorders. Exercise releases chemicals in the body that make you feel good, and it can help you relax. Taking just a 10-minute walk may alleviate symptoms for several hours, the Anxiety and Depression Association of America states.
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Relaxation techniques, which include practicing meditation and mindfulness. Both can ease symptoms of both anxiety and depression and improve your quality of life, according to a large research review published in the March 2014 issue of JAMA Internal Medicine.
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Organizations offering mental health services, which can include a hospital or support group in your community. Check out the National Institute of Mental Health or the Anxiety and Depression Association of America for more resources.
With all that being said, you shouldn’t have to feel ashamed, alone, or scared. There are many resources out there, friends who care, and family that will support you. Being in a college setting can definitely create these kinds of feelings but they are 100% preventable just don’t be afraid to reach out. I guarantee that there is someone out there, even on this campus, who could be going through something similar, too! We are all on this crazy journey together, might as well give each other a helping hand!
Anonymous 2:
Me and my anxiety go way back. At first, it wasn’t that bad, only popping up when I had to give a speech in front of my classmates or perform in front of big crowds. Slowly, I got over both of these irrational fears, but that only made room for more. It’s taken me years to describe what I feel like when I’m anxious, but I guess the best way I could describe what it feels like for me is: immobile. On my best days, I won’t feel anxious or it will barely affect my day. I can be running late or may I dare say, the sky could be falling down and somehow I will find the strength and inner peace to calm down and convince myself that everything will be ok. But on my bad days, oh boy. My bad days are awful. Like I mentioned above, my anxiety makes me immobile. On my bad days, getting out of my bed is impossible and interacting with people is even worse. I will legitimately cry over spilled milk or sit in a corner in my room and not answer my phone for hours. My anxiety is sneaky. You see, everything will be fine one day and the next, I’ll be having a full blown panic attack in the science building’s parking lot. One day the sun is bright and the next day I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe. That’s how I feel when I’m anxious. I can’t breathe and I can’t sleep and I can’t eat. My mind plays games on me making me believe that I can’t do anything right. It sits on my chest and whispers terrible things in my ear. Because of my anxiety, I’ve had recurring and suffer from panic and anxiety attacks. Because of my anxiety, I feel like the weight of the world’s on my shoulders and it’s crushing me. My anxiety is my worst enemy, and it sucks that it’s an enemy that no matter how many times I try to fight, it finds it’s way back. However, I’ve learned to live with my anxiety and identify what triggers it. I’ve gone to several therapists and psychiatrists, I’ve taken meds for it and I’ve even researched it on my own, but most importantly, I’ve asked for help. My anxiety made me feel like I was alone for so long and I lived ashamed for years. I’m honestly still a little ashamed of it. But you know what? I’ve learned that my anxieties are just irrational fears and even though I don’t have full control over them, I have some. I’ve learned that if I meditate some time in the day or exercise, I will feel freaking great throughout the day. I’ve learned that sometimes cooking a recipe from back home will make me feel warm and fuzzy, and that calling a friend or my mom will take my mind off things. I’ve learned that tea and breathing exercises work wonders when I feel like I’m over the edge and don’t even get me started on crystals, those little minerals are God’s gift. But, I’ve also learned that sometimes none of those things work and it’s ok and this will pass. Maybe I will feel like this again tomorrow or maybe I won’t, but either way, the only way I’ll find out is by taking my butt out of bed and carrying on with my day. I won’t let my anxiety immobilize me, no matter how tempting it is. If you’re reading this and you’re going through a rough time, know that there’s no shame in asking for help. Focus on the little things that make you happy or the things you enjoy in life, because those are the things that are most likely to help you. Mind over matter, after all. Remember, everything you’re feeling right now is temporary and tomorrow will be a better day.
Anonymous 3:
I was young and I was sad. But it was a bit more than the “Monday blues”. It was an all-encompassing dark ocean that moved over top of me as I laid just above the sand – or that is at what it felt like. Suspended in dark blue waters, in a constant sway. I was afraid of this ocean, afraid of the waves, but mostly, afraid of myself – and the hate that I felt. That hate. A hate that brought a fire, licking the corners of my opinions on people, what i did, and overall, who I was. I hated every aspect of myself. It was as if looking in a mirror would shatter me, like I was throwing a rock at it. The closer and closer I sunk to the bottom, the darker my thoughts became. I didn’t want to be anything more – I did not want to exist. So I would hurt myself, almost as a punishment, for what I was, as a second’s long escape. I do not want to go too deep in details, for I have pushed this so far away from who I am right now that I feel like I am writing about a foreign person, but I am doing so to not only accept who I was, but to stress how real this is. Depression is those hands under your bed your fear as a child. They might not always grab you, but the thought is always there. Those hands pulled me so far under my bed I felt inhumane – and it shamed me. My friends, family, even teachers, would ask questions and make comments. What are those marks? Why aren’t you eating? Are you okay? No matter how silent I was on the matter, I couldn’t hide how much I had changed, no matter what masks I adorned. When I was nearly centimeters above those dark sands, my closest friend threatened to talk to my parents if I did not get help. So I did, I got help that started me on a path to finding my own tools – and in turn myself. I focused on what I enjoyed in life and spent time with myself to get to know my core. I may be made of patches, but I now know I am whole. So I say to you, speak up, speak out. Seek out those who love you or can help. Do what you used to love and let it fill your heart. But at the end of the day, you have to be the one that makes the change – you need to help yourself too. Seeing a counselor can really help, and if you are not necessarily comfortable with one, try another, everyone is different. Use these tools to build yourself up again. Because dammit, you deserve it.
Anonymous 4:
Every time you enter the hall you lived in your freshman year, you can’t help but reminisce on great times and a lot of firsts. The first time meeting your roommate, first time cramming for an exam or the even the first time you met up with friends to go to a last minute campus event. We’ve all had our shares of firsts during our freshman year and they were all one of two things: expected or unexpected. Along with many of the things that I didn’t expect, like the first time I was rushed out of my building for a fire alarm while I was in the shower, there was the first time I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety.
What a way to start out my freshman year. Diagnosed and depressed. This isn’t going to be a sad story about me explaining every single detail about my journey. There was a wide range of things that came into play of my diagnosis and there are a wide range of things that I could go on nagging about but I later realized they were so insignificant. Here are some of the few insignificant significants that led to me feeling like a social outcast my freshman year:
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Involvement
You are a freshman in a new scene and are open to all these clubs and organizations that were for the most part, not offered in high school. My freshman year, I was involved in so many programs and to be honest it was SO OVERWHELMING. It was overwhelming trying to balance a sport, clubs and organizations. The truth is that you are here for school and you absolutely cannot be one hundred percent involved in every club or program that you are in. A good thing to do is take a break at least twice a week. You can do this by going to pamper yourself or relieve some stress by petting some cute puppies at the Anna Shelter.
2. Family
As an out-of-state student, I miss my family more than anything in the world. The only problem with mine, was that my parents have been separated my whole life. What this means is that they fought for custody and who would pay for what my entire life. This significant did not start to really affect me until my junior year of high school. BUT IT STILL AFFECTED ME EVEN AFTER STARTING COLLEGE . I only wished they would have grown up since then. They constantly shamed and got mad at me for asking one parent but not the other, but what I now realize is that you can’t have the best of everything and that’s okay.
3. Relationship Issues
My mindset my freshman year was to find someone and claim them as my own ASAP. This need to find my other half literally drove me crazy. Let me tell you this once and listen to me dammit. You do not need to be in a relationship. *Cliche warning* You need to learn to love yourself before anyone else. Even now, I’m still learning to love myself.
I let these insignificant significants get a hold of my emotions and let them overshadow my life. Little did I know I was strong enough to discover these solutions. With the help of some close friends, guidance counselors, and some alone time with myself, I have learned how to overcome the severe depression and anxiety. IT IS NOT easy at first. The road to recovery starts with admitting you need help and seeking help. Don’t be afraid to seek help when needed. The odds are that there are a lot of people facing the same problems that you are.
When I used to see that hall that I lived in my freshman year, all I could think about were the times that I was so close to giving up. Slowly, but surely, I am learning to see the good when I see my old freshman dorm.
Personal Counseling:
Counseling Location The Personal Counseling Office is located on the first floor of the Reed Union Building, Room 1.
Office Hours Monday through Friday, 8:00 a.m.-5:00 p.m. (appointments preferred)
Contact Us 814-898-6504
Crisis Information If you are afraid that you will not be able to avoid hurting yourself or someone else, get help immediately. Call 911 or Safe Harbor Crisis Services(link is external) (814-456-2014). In addition, crisis services are provided by Behrend’s Police Services (814-898-6101) as well as by other community agencies and hospitals.