Some say running clears the mind, gives them energy, and eases the pain… I will never understand these people. As fall approaches, many college students stop running outside and are forced to bring their exercise routine inside, due to the cold weather, and onto the treadmill. A few times a week, I also force myself onto the dreaded treadmill at my local gym and I hate every second of it. I believe that people fall into two categories in life, those who are runners and those who are not runners. I fall into the ‘not runner’ category. Although…sometimes I enjoy a nice run…a short run. Perhaps a 100-meter dash to my apartment… when I have Chipotle take-out in my hands. Other than that, I dislike every aspect of running and I do not anticipate my outlook on running changing any time soon. I have tried to get myself to like it, but I simply cannot.
If you are anything like me, a ‘non-runner’, if you’ll call it, I’m sure you have most likely attempted to run on a treadmill and have experienced the same physical and mental pain I have. And for those of you who love running, please enjoy yourself as you listen to the 10 thoughts we as non-runners have when running on a treadmill:
1. You put in your headphones and turn on your best workout playlist. You stretch, and get started. You can do this.
2. Your pace increases from 6 mph to 8 mph in 30 seconds. You are amazing and so fast!
Like seriously, look at you! You will never stop running. Maybe you’ll go for five miles today! It will be so easy. Maybe you are a runner after all!
3. Your legs start to hurt a little bit. Okay…they hurt a lot. You decide to slow down, but you will not walk. Walking is for quitters. But what if you just walked for a little bit? No. You must keep running. You look down at the mile marker. You have only run .2 of a mile. How is that even possible? You have been running for like 20 minutes. You fixate on the screen as it notes every hundredth of a mile you run. It is about as interesting as watching water boil. And then you feel it, a feeling of which you are all too familiar with- hatred. You hate running. Again.
4. You are so bored. You wish you could just sing out loud to your best workout song without being judged by the people around you.
5. You think of everything else you would rather be doing right now.
Sleeping.
Eating.
Wine.
ANYTHING.
6. You wonder if you will weigh less when you get off…Hmm.
7. You start to look at the people around you. You notice the girl to your right who has already ran 7 miles. She looks at your screen to see you are only at .6. She smirks. You start to judge. Oh, wow is me! I run three marathons a year. I’m awesome.
8. You look to your left to see a weight-lifting, bro-tank wearing, frat guy check himself out in the mirror as he does bicep curls.
9. You start to think about what exactly you are doing. You are willingly choosing to run in place on a machine. You have dropped everything else in your life at this moment to dedicate time to run in place. How does anyone enjoy this? Who would invent this? Why do you continue to do this? You continue to ponder your life.
10. Drops of sweat are falling onto the treadmill. You smell horrible. Your hair is wet. Your body is in pain. You cannot take it any longer. You have done enough for today, you must stop.
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