Ah, “self-care.” It’s become quite the buzzword in the last few years. You can see it everywhere, from Instagram hashtags to advertisements. There are thousands of how-to videos and listicles on self-care, many of which encourage activities such as soaking in a bubble bath, slathering on a face mask, practicing yoga (which is frankly a whole other article to write) or generally abiding by the “treat yo’self” mentality with a heavy dose of capitalism.
What’s noticeably absent from these guides and videos is addressing the “why” of your self-care.
I recently read an article by Brianna Wiest published on Thought Catalog about what the modern practice of self-care doesn’t include, and it’s shifted my own thinking on it. Today’s concept of self-care involves many of these consumerist, surface-level techniques for relieving stress. Instead, this article emphasizes the creation of a life that you don’t feel the need to hide from or ignore by addressing the root of your stresses, even if it’s not the most glamorous thing to do.
This is definitely easier said than done. It means that even though you want something, sometimes you have to make a conscious decision to choose something else. I am instantly gratified by binge-watching The Great British Baking Show all weekend, but I will always have the anxious weight of my waiting schoolwork on my shoulders unless I sit down and get it done. The same goes for anything in life that I sometimes call “necessaries,” like bills, maintenance requests and emails.
You have to parent yourself in a way, as the article refers to it. But because you’re older, you understand why you’re making the less desirable decision and know that in both the short and long run, you will feel better for making it.
That’s not to discredit the power of a warm bath or a great face mask, or invalidate any specific forms of self-care. I’m all about both of those things, and more importantly, about taking care of yourself in the best way you see fit. But as the article says, those things and activities are ways to enjoy life, not run away from it.
You’ve read this far, hooray! Now, to some tips on practicing practical self-care:
- Choose a small minimum number of things to do that must be done and do them. I keep a running to-do list that is easily 20+ items long, but to avoid being overwhelmed by it, I choose a small number (usually 3) of high-priority tasks and complete them. Anything beyond my minimum is a bonus.
- Reward yourself – accordingly. I firmly believe in taking breaks and rewarding yourself, but it should be in proportion to what you’ve completed. For example, if I sit and read for an hour, I’ll get up and shake out any stiffness, grab a yummy little snack and maybe watch a short Youtube video before I get back to the books. If I finish something like a huge project, a big test or an important interview, that reward may be a bit bigger.
- Listen to your body and your mind. Self-care is about finding a balance between taking care of what you need and what you want, and depending on your bodily or mental state, it might look different on some days than others.
- When feeling stuck or frustrated with a necessary task, remind yourself how nice it’s going to be when it’s complete and you no longer have to do it. I do this a lot when I have to deal with any paperwork, mail or homework. If it’s really not happening, try moving on to something that feels more manageable.
- Do a face mask or take a bubble bath once in a while. Being clean and feeling good in your own skin is awesome, too, and feeling good can be a great motivator for taking care of the less-fun things in life.