Dating, it’s magical right? Wrong, dating is actually the worst. From the occasional difficulties of having sex, to the constant thought of how to prevent pregnancy, being in a relationship isn’t always the easiest thing. But when you suffer from something like anxiety or depression every problem can be amplified, and some can be detrimental. Here are some of the (hopefully) funnier problems that come along when you date with anxiety.
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First Dates: First dates are so stressful that you debate canceling after your fifth outfit change. You look good, but you need to feel good dammit.
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Sex: I’m a rather confident person in my sexuality, and I really love my body, but that isn’t the case for everyone. Sex can be awkward, weird, and generally uncomfortable and this can make getting down and dirty feel gross. Try to use some scents to set the mood, and really try to focus on being in the moment. Don’t overthink it though, if it doesn’t happen it doesn’t happen.
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Trust: Trust is hard for everyone, but when you have a constant voice telling you the world is going to squish you it’s similar to walking up a down escalator. No tips for this one, I’m still working it out myself.
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Disease: If you have anxiety you might have other fears, like getting sick. This can make dating gross because of the sharing of space, bodily fluids, and all that other nasty stuff that can get you sick. Swapping spit when you visualize the germs in your partners mouth somehow makes it all less romantic.
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Understanding: The most difficult, and not funny hurtle is finding someone who is understanding of your anxiety. Someone who will react kindly or joke when you ask for the billionth time if they like you. (Babe, you still like me right? Yes I know it’s been 3 years, but you like me right?) But more importantly, be understanding of yourself. It’s okay if you have insecurities and ask a lot of questions, be patient with yourself.
It’s nasty, hard, and an uphill battle, but dating is definitely worth it if you are able to find love. And even if you haven’t found love with another person, dating can be a great way to find love with yourself. If you want to read some more about dating with anxiety, which is a little bit less funny, check out Love In Anxiety