Fall leaves are starting to crunch on the ground, and it’s time to break out your favorite autumn candles. Pumpkin Spice Lattes are back and ready to be sipped during study sessions. This new season and semester brings a lot of reflection and goal setting. How do I want to show up differently this year? How can I “lock-in?” Podcasts and social media are overflowing with workout routines, study habits, healthy eating, and more. While changing your life in the next three months can be productive and helpful, at what point does it become an unhealthy obsession?
It is natural as new beginnings happen for people to reevaluate what is and isn’t working in their lives. Fall is a natural beginning for many people, especially with school starting back up. Transitionary times often come with self reflection—that is a good thing. A group collective effort of the “fall lock-in” and “winter arcs” can help create an environment where motivation increases.
“This is the year I branch out and make more friends.”Â
“This is the year I go to all my classes.”Â
“This is the year I get an internship.”Â
These are all great goals to have, but eventually always trying to become the next best version of yourself can affect self esteem and self love. College students often feel an immense amount of pressure to optimize all areas of their lives. There is a balance between the two extremes of never growing and changing, and never accepting and loving yourself as you are. So where is that line? How can you make goals without burnout and making sure they come from a place of love, not self loathing?
James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits, writes in his newsletter, “It doesn’t make sense to continue wanting something if you’re not willing to do what it takes to get it. If you don’t want to live the lifestyle, then release yourself from the desire. To crave the result but not the process, is to guarantee disappointment.”Â
As an ambitious girl myself, this quote has really stuck with me. There are so many things that I have wanted to accomplish throughout my life, and the disappointment from not being the “best” and “doing it all” used to eat me alive. It is a lot of pressure to put on yourself to want the outcome but not the process. For example, if you want your dream body, but not the healthy and active lifestyle that it would require to maintain it, you are setting yourself up for a mindset of either hating your lifestyle or dream body. Goals are only as achievable long-term as they are sustainable.
Following a goal-setting framework can help you create sustainable goals that you fully want. I split my goals into five categories: breaking a bad habit, intellectual, spiritual, physical, and social. Each of those goals must follow the SMART goal framework (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time bound). This helps me create goals that are sustainable to my current lifestyle and things that I would want to continue to achieve daily. It’s important to note that I use these as a general prompt and guideline, not as a strict milestone. Finding a system that works for you will increase how many goals you can sustainably achieve.
In the book The Alchemist, Santiago is told by the alchemist, “Everything you need to know you have learned through your journey.” This is a valuable mindset to adopt while locking in this fall and winter. Shifting your focus to enjoying the process of achieving your goals can help you remain more present in your life, which is one of the themes of Paulo Coelho’s classic novel.
Locking in and having a winter arc are not inherently bad things. Beating yourself up for not living up to unrealistic goals is. Remember to accept yourself for who you already are, and what you can be. Set goals from a place of love, not from wishing to change identities. Enjoy your goals during the process, not just from the perspective of where you wish to be.