I wanted to articulate this article in a vulnerable manner and fully write out my slim ability to manage school, especially during the peak of midterms and the holiday season. That said, the point of this article is for people to feel seen and heard. More so, relate to what I am saying and feeling less lonely during the fastest and slowest points of the semester.
First and foremost, I think this point of the semester is, controversially, the worst. I am overwhelmed with constant assignments, exams, and a rigorous part-time job schedule. Every day doesn’t feel real, but somehow I am stuck in a constant loop of motion and procrastination, where nothing seems to feel accomplished or finished. I am in a dissociative state between choosing failing grades, a social life, making money, dirty clothes, starvation, or getting sleep. It seems never-ending, but it is limited by the lack of time to do everything.
To distract myself from the overwhelming pressure from all aspects of life, I try to find niche moments on the internet or spend time with my friends and family to keep my sanity away from my stressors. However, this method of coping tends to fail me. It gets so bad that I will dream about doing assignments or the long to-do list I create, and it follows me everywhere. Just recently, I tried to somewhat romanticize going to a coffee shop to do some studying and work….it barely did anything other than provide me a great strawberry matcha and breakfast sandwich. So, what can I do? Are there more methods I should try other than taking a walk, breathing exercises, and planning better for my schedule? More importantly, where should I go from here?
Although this is somewhat of a therapy post, I am sure it will improve once the semester is over. It does make me feel relieved when I think about how close the holiday season is, and I get to have a break from stressing over something that may be so minuscule in a few years.