For me personally, college has simultaneously been one of the most social and lonely times of my life. Despite being surrounded by thousands of other students, I miss my family, friends, and pets. One of the beautiful things about college is that you get to learn (or develop) how you want to be independent. It took me some time, but I finally am able to appreciate the beauty of alone time.
So, why do I value alone time so much? For starters, I’m much more productive when I’m alone. This definitely won’t apply to everyone, but for me, alone time is efficient. I can do whatever I want, on my time, with no strings attached. There’s no waiting for others or having to plan in advance, I’m in total control of my time. Being alone also means I can relax my social attention. Especially since the pandemic, being around people constantly has become draining. When I’m alone, I don’t have to waste energy focused on my appearance, my behavior, my words, my facial expression, or any other kind of social cues. Alone, I can be my most authentic, relaxed, and genuine self. One of the scariest parts of being alone is the self-reflection that comes with alone time. For people who struggle with mental illness, self-confidence, anxiety, or really anything, alone time can force you to spend time with negative thoughts and feelings. However, this reflection can become beneficial and allow you to develop a more full sense of your life. It gives you time to be honest with yourself. Yes, it’s difficult to face many thoughts, but addressing them or releasing them is necessary for our mental well-being. If you hate being alone but want to get better at it, here are 5 tips that have helped me.
- Lessen Social Media Usage
Believe me, I know for a large majority of people, alone time is always spent on social media. But, social media can bring up comparisons and other negative feelings that aren’t helpful when learning to be alone. If you really want to love being alone, you’ll take the time to be with yourself rather than scrolling through TikTok. If social media is a really happy place for you and you know it won’t bring negative feelings, that’s your prerogative. In general, I’d suggest lowering the amount of social media you consume.
- Exercise
Besides obvious benefits to exercise, like endorphins, exercise is also a great outlet for energy. If you’re a super energetic person, being alone can be difficult because there’s nowhere for the energy to go. Even if you aren’t super energetic, exercise can still be a wonderful way to expend energy, try new things, and challenge yourself. It will leave you feeling accomplished. Any type of exercise is great, some personal favorites include yoga, pilates, barre, walking, running, and dancing. Going to group exercise classes alone is also very beneficial because you can feel like you’re in a community without necessarily knowing anyone there.
- Let Your Mind Go
I already discussed how this is probably the scariest part of being alone, but it’s so important to allow yourself. You deserve to feel all of your feelings and sometimes it’s hard to do that in a group. Letting your mind release its tensions will make you feel so much better in the long run. I like to assist this process by journaling, meditating, and listening to music. Full disclosure, sometimes it sucks. Sometimes I end up in a negative cycle and need to guide myself out of it, but that’s another great thing being alone and practicing this has taught me, how to control my thoughts and regroup my feelings.
- Do Something You Want to Do
Being alone doesn’t mean you can’t have plans. Maybe you’ve wanted to try a new restaurant or have been meaning to go volunteer but just haven’t made the time. If you make alone time means something to you, you’re more likely to feel like it was worthwhile and give yourself more alone time. Alone time is a wonderful opportunity to try something new or even get chores done that you need to do. Been meaning to do laundry, pay a bill, or read a book? Having time to yourself allows you to get things done.
- Practice Gratitude
Similar to tip 3, being alone can lead to some negative thoughts or feelings. I always like to incorporate some practice of gratitude in the reflections I do alone. This could be meditation, planning an act of kindness or love, or even sending your friends a text to say you miss them and love them. You also deserve to show gratitude towards yourself. Have a self-care night, buy a nice item, or eat your favorite foods, whatever things make you happiest, you deserve to do.
Being alone isn’t the only part of life. Being with others isn’t the only part of life. Both are valuable for protecting your energy, time, and well-being. Learning to like being alone can be challenging because we are forced to confront ourselves, but it also allows for personal growth and regeneration.