“Hi.” (Ultimate Heartstopper rizz)
Trigger Warnings: This post has mentions of Eating Disorders, Outing, and Self-harm.
Ahhh, August. We’re livin’ for the hope of it all, anxiously waiting for Heartstopper S2 (which is finally here!) and of course, the film adaptation of Red, White, and Royal Blue. Sounds gay, I’ll be there!💅
Heartstopper’s Webtoon girlies will know that in S3 things are going to get serious, and fast. S2 is currently placed in the majority of Vol. 03. Albeit, a lot of the storyline was created anew for this season. This is because the third volume of the graphic novel “did not have enough content for an entire TV show season” Oseman confirmed. Vol. 04 on the other hand, delves deeper into Charlie’s emotional stability.
As a first-time reader I had never noticed those small details, but post Vol. 04, every re-read ripped me apart. Nick began to notice that Charlie never properly ate when they were together. He would always say he “wasn’t really hungry”. A little detail that was prevalent since the first volume. The fact that a reader who is supposed to have a holistic view missed it is exactly what makes this depiction so realistic. People with real emotional struggles are too good at hiding them from others regardless of how close they are. Here’s a friendly reminder to all the readers to not assume what could be going through another’s mind. Cut people some slack (Translation: Recognize they are human too). More importantly, if you find someone opening up to you about their vulnerabilities, guard it like it’s a blood pact.
We already know Charlie dealt with anxiety and would often overthink people’s feelings towards him. He had a habit of assuming the worst possible iteration of any situation would happen to him. The most significant portrayal of this habit was when Nick and Charlie shared their first kiss. Nick had never kissed a boy before, and he couldn’t process these new feelings quickly enough to give a prompt reaction after this kiss. Instinctively, he got up and left- leaving Charlie in a toxically confused state. Charlie’s thoughts were plagued with thoughts that were the exact opposite of how Nick felt. The thoughts relayed at such a high speed that he thought the kiss had rendered their beautiful friendship (before the fact otherwise, lol) null and void.
We realise in Vol. 04 that this negative behaviour toward himself manifested itself in his relationship with food, dating back to the time he was outed (before the books’ timeline). Although we never really know his thought process behind rejecting food, we do know that it’s like a dark mass that just spreads through his mind. He even opened up to Nick saying he had hurt himself without processing the consequences before.
Nick himself had to muster a lot of courage before speaking to Charlie about the eating disorder. He googled how to start the conversation multiple times, and spoke to his mother about it when tears had rushed out of his eyes.
“You’re sixteen, sweetheart. This is a lot to put on a sixteen-year-old’s shoulders… It’s okay to be scared… Maybe you can’t [fix it], darling… And you love him so much. I’m sure he loves you too. And I know you feel like it’s your job to ‘save him’. I know it feels like you’re both each other’s whole world, but that dependancy isn’t healthy for either of you. Charlie needs to seek help from someone who isn’t his sixteen-year-old boyfriend. He needs help from a doctor or a therapist- someone who knows about eating disorders and how to treat them.[sic]”
“Love can’t cure mental illness.[sic]”
Sarah Nelson (Nick’s Mother)
I’m gonna go cry in the bathroom, peace out homies.
Aptly said, Mom. Love can’t cure mental illness. As much as you want to help your loved ones that are battling their own minds, we can only do so much. As a friend, we may never know what words could trigger them, or what the right thing to say is. But there are doctors out there who spend years of their lives studying human behaviour. Doctors that have degrees to help people bring peace into their own minds against the raging war.
The best we can do is help on the sidelines. We can lend our ears to the heart that feels lonely. We can lend our time to those residing in our hearts. We can remind them that they aren’t alone and that we will always be with them whenever they need us, but we cannot cure them.
Charlie’s progression from such a low state of mind is something that we’re all proud of. But it is very slow. We watched him work his courage up to speak about it to his parents who he feared would say he was “faking it”. He ended up writing his feelings on a piece of paper, handing it to his parents with one hand while the other held onto Nick’s in support.
“My mental health has been really bad lately. I’ve been finding eating really difficult. I feel like there’s a voice in my head that’s not me, telling me bad things will happen if I eat or if I do things the wrong way, and that voice has just been getting louder and louder. Sometimes it makes me really stressed or tired or angry. And I think I’ve been like this for quite a long time but I just didn’t want to admit it. I want to figure out how to manage it, so I was thinking I could go to the doctors. I want to get better.[sic]”
Charlie Spring
I’ll just- o(TヘTo) Somebody give Charlie a Nick Nelson kinda hug right now!!!!
(and maybe pass me a tissue to wipe the tears off my laptop)
Acceptance is the first step in solving the problem. I cannot stress enough about how proud I was of this little boy on my phone. Later on, Charlie prompted himself to go into rehabilitation. This was such a huge step for him. This would’ve meant he would miss a bit of school, he would lose social contact with his best friends, family, and Nick. He made that leap into faith anyway. He was determined to get better and it’s not just something to respect, but also something to learn from.
We are currently in Vol. 07 of the graphic novel. Charlie has returned from rehab and is still having weekly therapy sessions. He picked up a journaling habit and seems to be satisfied with himself overall. But, that doesn’t mean he magically got all okay. He lapsed into his self-harm habits but was quick to realise and sought out help from people when he did so. He has learnt to not keep things to himself, he’s slowly letting go of the feeling of being a burden to those he loves. He isn’t fully comfortable with looking at his shirtless body, but his mind isn’t clouding with negative thoughts the way it used to.
Charlie Spring is not fully okay, but he’s okay with that. Healing is a long process, and I am so proud of all the non-fictional Charlie Springs who are mulling through it. Therapy may not be accessible to all, but there are options out there!
- Psychology Professional: Reach out to a psychologist or a psychiatrist, if they are in your contacts.
- Guidance Counselor: Find out the contact of the guidance counselor in your educational institution and reach out to them!
- Online Therapy: There are subscription options like BetterHelp or the friendly couch.
Other free options include DRKBeautyHealing.
- Speak to a person you feel comfortable with about the issues you’re facing. (Ensure it’s someone that has your best interest in mind!)
And for those of you that would like to read the graphic novel, here’s HEARTSTOPPER!
You’ve got this! And this tiny girl on your phone screen will always be your cheerleader in the background!
For more reads like this, visit Her Campus at MUJ!