These past few days I have experienced a bunch of emotions, and not a single one of them is good. For today’s article, I have decided to just let it all out and hopefully, at the end, I feel better. Most of y’all will probably think I’m a selfish b*tch, but I just need to vent or I don’t know what will happen.
Last Wednesday they announced that classes were going to go online due to COVID-19. At first I was excited, but that feeling lasted about 2 minutes max. It all hit me at once that the second semester of my junior year has come to an end almost 2 months earlier than expected. This meant saying good-bye to my graduating friends 2 months earlier. Saying good-bye to Saint Paddy’s and not being able to see the campus in spring with all the flowers blooming. Then March Madness was canceled which meant I will never see Cassius Winston, Kyle Ahrens, and Connor George play for the green and white ever again. Everyone started to leave campus and go home, so I spent Wednesday through Sunday saying good-bye — some of them were goodbyes forever and some I will not see in almost half a year. Then my study abroad was canceled. That was my only plan for this summer since no one is going to hire me — especially with the recession we’re about to face — and the only good thing that I was looking forward to. This all meant I would have to go home for a total of six months. And if I’m honest with you guys, things at home aren’t the best right now, so that was the last thing I wanted to do. It just seemed like everything kept on getting worse and worse, and I had an extreme wave of overwhelming sadness come over me.
I understand why everything is happening, I am not dumb. I get that it’s a national crisis. It’s spreading super fast and we have never experienced something like this. I GET IT! I UNDERSTAND IT! I’M NOT STUPID!!! Of course, I know why everything is happening. I just wish people would take this matter seriously. There are only two extremes: a lot of people are going out to the bars and not giving a single f*ck and then there are the people panicking and buying toilet paper in bulk for some reason? When I read that we had a shortage of toilet paper I was frustrated and mad at how dumb people are. There’s a middle point, where I’m at, which is not panicking but also taking precautions. I don’t really leave my apartment unless it’s an absolute necessity — like going to the gym because if I don’t go to the gym I will actually go insane — and taking precautions when I do: wiping all the machines before and after I use them, washing my hands constantly, and avoiding touching my face, eyes, nose, and mouth.
Lastly, I’ve been feeling worthless. Like I said, I don’t have anything lined up for this summer. The only thing I was looking forward to was studying abroad. I also feel like I should be more focused on school and working a lot harder for online school. I also work online too and I feel like I should be more focused on that as well, EVEN THOUGH WE’RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC CRISIS.
I know this is really selfish, but I just had to get it off my chest. I hope this all gets under control soon. Please everyone: stay safe, and I hope neither you nor any of your loved ones are affected by any of this. Take as many precautions as possible and try to stop the spread.