For spring break, I traveled with my two college besties and one of their best friends from high school. I can’t tell you if I was more excited to get out of Michigan or to be by the ocean, but I was so excited. I have an insane semester this spring filled with classes and clubs, volunteering and job shadowing, medical school application preparations and MCAT studying. I know the next several weeks are going to be crunch time and as much as I don’t want to do it, it’s what needed to be done. So, I decided that I was not going to work on my spring break and instead chose to bring my laptop with me simply for writing. I love writing creatively and I simply don’t have the kind of time for it right now that I would like to have and I figured if I was banning myself from working then I’d have some time to kill.
So fast forward to day 2 of our trip, we came in from the beach to make something to eat and re-apply our sunscreen. Pro tip: don’t trust the UV index. When I was ready to go and waiting for my friends to lather up, I pulled out my laptop. One girl looks at me and says “Erika if you’re working, I’m stealing your laptop and throwing it in the ocean.” It sounds harsh but lowkey was exactly the energy that I needed to have. I explained that I wasn’t working but was writing an article. The other girl asked me what I meant by that and I had the opportunity to explain a little bit about Her Campus and the writing I do with them. After explaining how I have freedom in choosing essentially anything to write about she stopped looking at herself in the mirror and immediately said “you should write an article about my ass.” She was kidding…I think…she was mostly kidding. We laughed for a few moments before she went back to taking mirror selfies in a very flattering bikini and as I observed the way she moved her phone several times to get the “right angle” before taking a picture, I realized I did have a few things to say, not specifically about her ass, but about her self-confidence, about my own self-image, and about how at the end of the day we really are much more similar than we are different.
Looking at this girl, it’s easy to think that she’s got it all figured out: she’s comfortable talking to boys, she dresses in a way to flatter her figure, she’s beautiful, and she seems to know it without carrying the arrogance that often comes with that knowledge. I’ll be honest I thought that more than I should have assumed. Turns out, as the week went on, she spoke of the same insecurities as the rest of us. I watched her intentionally choose health options at the store and take her mirror pictures after mentioning the “morning skinny.”
At the end of the day, we all have our insecurities. Every single one of us. This is something worth remembering especially now as we approach summer and many will choose to expose more of themselves than they have for the last several months. Use this as a reminder to treat everyone with kindness; if you don’t have something nice to say then keep your mouth shut. We don’t know what insecurities someone has or the stories behind them, and even if we think we do…we don’t. I urge you as well to keep this in mind this summer. Before you comment on someone’s body or what they are wearing think about it twice. Sometimes what we think or mean as a compliment is actually just as hurtful. Things like “you’ve lost so much weight, you look amazing!” can be equally as hurtful as a direct insult. When in doubt, I try not to comment on anyone’s body at all and instead gear my complements to be more personality based. Complements like “I really enjoy your company” and “your hard work is inspiring” can not only be more personal but are more likely to truly convey positivity that is less likely to be manipulated by insecurities you aren’t aware are present.
Let’s try to lift each other up, support one another, and support ourselves this summer and beyond. Think about it this way, if you are looking at someone and are amazing by their ________ (fill in the blank), they could be looking at you with that same amazement.