Covid has, needless to say, had an enormous impact on our lives. It has put us through challenges we never would have imagined, and the stress from quarantine and current events has put strain on everyone’s mental health. Things that once felt easy and natural have now become incredibly challenging and exhausting, and for me, this is most noticeable surrounding my social life. Covid has prevented all of us from carrying on as we normally would, yet there has been an underlying expectation that we should be able to simply continue with our lives, and be just as productive and emotionally available as we would otherwise be.
The rise of Zoom and other socially distanced forms of communication has been a strong contributor to these unrealistic expectations. Boundaries- both physical and emotional – have always been important, but they are even more crucial during such a trying time. Zoom, facetime, texting, etc. all present the expectation that someone should be available at any time since all they really have to do is pick up their nearest device. This mindset makes it nearly impossible to uphold boundaries with others, and it can become difficult to be mindful about how much you are really doing in a day, since it doesn’t feel physically strenuous. However, I have found that this has led me to isolate myself from others, and to struggle with finding a good work/life balance. Social interactions which would have normally come easily to me have required far more effort, and have left me feeling completely exhausted. This expectation of constant availability has created a very tense social environment and has made it difficult for me to keep up with the people in my life.
While it has been incredibly difficult to maintain my social life, I have also had the opportunity to learn how to enforce my boundaries, and take care of myself and my social needs. I definitely still have a long way to go, and new challenges will likely arise as life continues, but in some ways, I think my social circle may now be healthier. First and foremost, the emotional exhaustion I have been experiencing has forced me to place more value in my time and my boundaries. Taking time for myself, and trying to destress as much as possible has become a priority – and this time deserves to be protected. I have been becoming better at saying no when I need to, and not just dropping this self care time whenever anything or anyone needs my attention. I have had to learn how to set emotional boundaries as well. This has been an emotionally charged time for all of us, and I have definitely found it overwhelming. I have often been the friend that people come to for advice or to vent, and while this normally would be fine, it has sometimes become too much, especially when I am also going through a difficult time. Because of this, I have become better at asking for a raincheck on vent sessions and trying not to take everyone else’s problems on as my own. Emotional availability will likely continue to be a struggle for me, especially if things continue to open up, and socializing in person becomes more of a possibility. However, I have come a long way in terms of respecting my own time and boundaries, and I am hoping that these skills will help me to grow as a person, and form healthier habits and boundaries going forwards.