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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at MSU chapter.

I remember smelling warm chocolate chip cookies in the oven

But I couldn’t eat any;

I knew if I ate one, then I wouldn’t be able to stop.

After I ate the cookies,

I ran in continuous circles until every calorie disappeared.

And after that, I fell,

But eight seconds later I got up

And I was proud,

The kind of proud where I can’t stop smiling.

I was a black hole that I made myself transform into,

And I wasn’t scared because

I knew that eventually I’d be

A tiny black hole, and people would like me more,

And guys would like me more,

And I would like me more,

That was why looking back,

I was convinced I was doing the right thing.

I don’t starve anymore,

but one hit of the chocolate,

And it’s like I’m there all over again.

I’m staring in the mirror,

Becoming the mirror.

I’m a shapeshifter.

And I see myself as the giant shard of glass on my wall.

My view of myself is like the backward letters that show up in the glass.

I destroyed the mirror one night.

I got angry and threw a rock at it,

And it’s still cracked.

Am I still the mirror?

I’ve just realized,

After smelling the chocolate,

That this is the first time I’ve ever

Acknowledged my anorexia.

And now I can’t help but wonder

why that is.

Sydney Savage is studying psychology and creative writing at Michigan State University. Part of her novel called "I Love You More Than Me" is published at Red Cedar Review. An excerpt of her other novel, “Just Let Me Go” is published at Outrageous Fortune magazine. At MSU, she’s an editor for Her Campus. While not writing, blogging, or reading, she’s part of the MSU Peer Body Project and gives presentations on the media's impact on eating disorders. She also works as a current Mental Health Assistant in Livingston County, and enjoys helping people in areas of mental health and body image. She love to write about these themes in her works and hopes to make them more open in the market. She took this mindset to the Arthouse Literary Agency, where she was a social media and editorial intern. You can read some of her works on her personal blog and website: https://sydsavage13.wixsite.com/sydwriter13 Her twitter is @realsydsavage13 and her writing insta is @sydwriter13