Breakups are tough. Letting go is hard and moving on can take some time, but in the end, everything ends up okay.
I’ve had my fair share of breakups, each one different from another, yet so similar at the same time. No amount of breakups makes the next any easier, but the ways you choose to view and act on the situation makes all the difference in the world. Sometimes it can feel impossible to let someone go that meant so much to you, but often you are forced to move on for your own sake and sanity. Over the years, I have picked up different ways to help myself heal and ultimately get myself over these failed relationships. In hopes of being able to help those going through similar situations, I would like to share the things that helped me most. Here are five (of many) strategies I used to get over my breakups that you may find to be beneficial as well.
1. Keep yourself busy
It’s hard to focus on what’s bringing you down when you’re distracted by things that make you happy. Doing things that you genuinely enjoy helps take the edge off and lets you forget about everything else, even if it’s just for a small amount of time. I feel like as humans, we’re notorious for spending a lot of time in our heads when we’re not busy doing anything else. By putting your energy into hobbies, spending time with pets, working out, spending time with others, or anything else you enjoy, your mind is able to shift from focusing on the breakup, to focusing on the things that may brighten your mood.
2. Spend time with friends and family
My friends never fail to put a smile on my face and my family provides me with comfort. A combination of these two ultimately takes away the lingering distress from the break up. Being around people that you can open up to and that you feel safe around is important. At the end of the day, having to leave behind the person that was your primary source of comfort can make you feel lonely. Being around friends and family takes some of this loneliness away and may even put a smile on your face.
3. No-contact
Out of all the strategies I’ve used to get over my breakups, this one is by far the most important and helpful one in the long run. It’s also the most dreaded. For a while, continuing to remain no-contact feels almost impossible, but as time continues to move, it gets easier to maintain. Not being able to talk to the person you used to talk with everyday is such an awful feeling, but to fully accept that it’s time to move on, learning to find comfort in being by yourself is crucial. Trust me, you CAN do it and it DOES get better!
4. Focus on yourself / better yourself
Do things that make you happy, focus on living a healthy lifestyle, start engaging in the things on your bucket list, focus on your goals, and become the best version of yourself that you possibly can. When you close the door to your relationship, so many new ones open and the possibilities are endless. Go out and do the things that you’ve always wanted to try and open your mind to new ideas. Start partaking in activities that allow your mind to be more positive and at peace. Realize that you are the only one responsible for your own happiness. The world did not end when someone decided that they couldn’t love you right. Take this time of hurting and healing and embrace it, find motivation within it to pick yourself back up. At the end of the day, the one person that you absolutely need and can’t afford to lose is yourself.
5. Talk it out
Last but certainly not least, talking it out and getting others advice or input can make you feel better about the situation. I think something that was really helpful when going through my breakup was being able to sit and talk to my friends about how I was feeling. Having someone even just sit and listen to what’s going on in your head makes a huge difference. At one point, I remember sitting in my car with one of my friends while completely breaking down. This was probably the worst break down I’d had in my life, my friend just sat there and listened, let me unleash everything, and never judged me for that night. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to let it all out, and it’s okay to talk through it with someone you feel comfortable with. Everyone goes through different things in their life. Nobody is perfect and your feelings are valid.
Breakups suck, healing takes a while, and losing the person you thought was “the one” is devastating. Nothing in life prepares you for the pain of having to let go of someone you love, but learning and growing from the experience finds a way of turning into something beautiful. You lose yourself and then you find yourself. You become stronger and learn important lessons that you can bring with you into your next relationship. You reflect on life and realize that you were fine before them and you can be fine after them. It may just take a little time. Life is a journey, not a destination. You got this!