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Over the past few months, the new abundance of free time allowed me to have more time to reflect and think over some of the things I have learned. Below are ten things I am currently learning to live by to help further my own personal growth. Though I by no means have mastered any one of these, day by day, I’m learning a little more and getting closer to becoming the best version of myself. Hopefully, these ten pieces of advice can help you in your own journey towards personal growth and allow you to begin reflecting. 

Go Alone. 

How many times have you wanted to do something but ultimately decided against it because no one would go with you? From visiting new clubs or organizations to going to concerts, movies, or restaurants, I’m sure we can all think of a few opportunities we’ve missed simply because we had a fear of going alone. This year, one of my resolutions was to stop letting my fear of being alone hold me back from doing the things I truly wanted to. By doing so, I was able to meet so many amazing people and grow more confident in myself. Trust me, it was difficult at first. Yet in the end, I grew prouder of myself and became less dependent on other people for my own comfort. 

If They Want To, They Will.

With any kind of relationship you have, you should never have to question the other person's commitment. Believing the idea that if someone wanted to do something, they would’ve, has saved me a lot of unnecessary stress with people who were meant to only be temporary in my life.  

Befriend People Who Make You Better.

My friends are truly some of the most important people in my life. They push me to achieve my goals, make me work harder, and bring new perspectives into my life. In each friend, I can determine the specific traits I admire and hope to embody within myself. They are all amazing people, and though not without flaws, they each make me a better version of myself. Your friends can have such an impact on the person you become, therefore it’s important to choose wisely. There’s not enough time to entertain people in your life who are not helping you grow. 

Believe Them When They Show You. 

Too often, I would catch myself romanticizing people in my head, creating a better version of them simply because that’s what I was hoping for. This caused me to stick around much longer than I ever should have with those I cared for. When people are showing you the real them, believe them. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that they will change just for you. You can love them from a distance. 

Value Your Space.

Your space is a direct reflection of you. Whether that’s your room, your dorm, your apartment, or anything else, whatever space you identify as your own should be somewhere you can truly be yourself. Take the time in to make it your own. Keep it clean. Do whatever it is you need to do to feel comfortable in your space.    

Everyone Is Too Preoccupied With Themselves To Care About You. 

We are all so caught up in our own personal lives that most of us are way too preoccupied with ourselves to truly care about what others are doing. Wear what you want, like what you want, and do your own thing. No one cares as much as we think they do. The sooner you learn no one really cares, the much easier it became to do what you truly want.

Take Time To Reflect.

One of the most dangerous things to do is to stop taking the time to reflect on who you are, where you are in life, and how your actions have impacted others. Too many people have limited themselves from reaching their full potential by thinking that they already have it all figured out, stopping themselves from pausing to reflect and grow. Don’t get yourself into this trap. There is always more room for growth — just make sure you take the time to find it. 

Protect Your Time.

There is only so much time. Spend it doing things that help you become a better version of yourself. Spend it with the people and things you love. But be careful with giving your time to things that aren’t truly beneficial to you. Whether it be a person, an activity, or anything else, it’s important not to waste your time on something that doesn’t matter. You only have so much time, might as well use it doing things you enjoy.

Expect Greatness from Yourself. 

I’ve always lived by the idea that my expectations for myself should be high. This expectation has allowed me to push myself because of my determination to achieve my goals. If you don’t expect greatness from yourself, you won’t achieve it. Stop doubting yourself. 

If You Can, Do It. If Not, Don’t Stress.

For me, this is the most important, yet most difficult lesson that I have had to learn. I have always struggled with managing my stress, being quick to turn to stressing out, and letting it impact my wellbeing. Fortunately, I was able to reach out to my father who then gave me the best piece of advice I’ve received in my life. It was from him that I heard this idea of “if you can, do, but if not, don’t stress.” He wanted me to understand there was little value in stressing about things outside of my control and that I should instead focus my efforts on doing my best on issues that I actually had control over. To this day, this piece of advice has stuck by me and is something I try to practice every day. 

Like I said before, I by no means have it all figured out. Yet each of these points has helped me in my own journey to making life just a little bit easier to understand. I hope that these resonate with you and can help influence your own individual lessons. After all, we’re all just here to learn from each other.

Abigail Dejene is an undergraduate student at MSU studying Social Relations and Policy and Comparative Cultures and Politics, with a minor in educational studies. In the future, Abigail hopes to go into nonprofit and educational policy work, as well as become an educator. In addition to writing for Her Campus, Abigail serves as a founding director for MSU’s Prison Reform Advocacy Group, a Rise fellow, and a Resident Assistant. This is her second year writing for HER Campus and her first year as an assistant editor.
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