[Trigger Warning: Eating Disordered thoughts and behaviors.]
In the second season of Netflix’s original series, Insatiable, hard-hitting topics such as eating disorders and body image are explored through the dark-comedy about the pageant world, murder, and sexuality.
Patty Bladell (Debby Ryan) experiences high school in small-town Georgia as “the fat girl” and “Fatty Patty”. After being punched by a homeless man, her jaw is wired shut and she is forced to live on an all-liquid diet which results in her losing weight and becoming conventionally attractive. Patty’s weight loss grabs the attention of lawyer and pageant coach, Bob Armstrong, who sparks her interest in becoming Miss American Lady.
Though Patty Bladell and I are very different in the respect that she has killed several people, I resonated with the storyline of Patty’s internal struggle with the aftermath of a drastic weight loss.
In season 2, Patty’s eating disorder is heavily explored through her habits of overeating and excessive workouts. Later in the season, Patty attends Overeaters Anonymous where she begins to accept her disorder.
But what leads up to Patty’s discovery that she needs help is an ugly truth to what the aftermath of weight loss looks like.
When I lost fifty pounds at sixteen, I constantly was pat on the back by my extended family and asked: “how did you lose all the weight?”
But the truth is, the joy and pride that comes with losing weight are faltering as it will only last for the first few months of rocking new revealing outfits around town.
In season 2 of Insatiable, Patty combats her cravings by squirting soap onto pastries – which is when it dawned on me that Patty’s story the very real and raw storyline about body image (with dramatic plots added for cinematic effect, of course).
I remember dumping my sixteenth birthday cake in the trash with dish soap and my family being infuriated that I wasted it. I also remember eating some cake then promptly eating an apple afterward because I thought that it would trick my body into thinking I had only eaten the apple (flawed logic, sixteen-year-old, Julia).
Me at age sixteen. 120 pounds.
Patty constantly battles the internal conflict of once thinking her life would be better after the weight loss and calling herself fat while looking in the mirror at her conventionally slim body.
Though Patty has a bad relationship with food and her body, she is put on a pedestal as an advocate for health and an inspiration to young girls that struggle with their self-image. This happens more than ever in a world that thrives on social media; from transformation pictures to accounts dedicated to weight loss.
I was given the role of making sure everyone was healthy in my family and everyone calling me an inspiration. But the truth is, I don’t have a degree in nutrition and when I was at my lightest weight, I refused to even eat a bagel. I had a restrictive mindset and felt under pressure about what I put on my plate and how I presented my body.
While my diet is not nearly as restrictive as it once was, I constantly deal with the fluctuation of my weight and feeling reminiscent of my old body when I overeat or bloat.
Since arriving at college where no one knew my story, I let go of some of the pressure to be perfect. But my relationship with food, mind, and body has become obsolete; however, I am currently seeking professional help and pursuing a journey of self-discovery to become my best self.
Me (now) at age nineteen. 134 pounds.
Losing weight is a conscious decision to make because it is a lifetime of trial and error. You will gain five pounds, lose two pounds, overeat, undereat, and deal with the mental health problems you had before the weight loss.