Ever since I was little, I’ve always wanted to be on the go. My mom said I would keep going and going until I was burnt out, always wanting to be around people, having to know what was coming next, and be doing something constantly. Growing up, that never really changed. I would plan and plan, constantly trying to cram so much into one day because I could never sit still. I was never good at “relaxing”; I love constant movement and motion.
Coming to college, I knew exactly what I wanted to do in my college career. I’ve wanted to be a teacher since I was 5 years old, and nothing was stopping me. I was not interested in anything else. Even as a senior in high school, I had my next 10 years mapped out; graduate from college, move back home, get a teaching job at my old high school, find someone then marry and have kids then move a couple towns over from my parents. I was so set on doing this that I even made my 14-year-old brother at the time plan to not live more than 20 minutes away and made my sister promise to do the same thing.
My problem is I do not adapt well to change. Even the slightest little bit, I cannot handle. Going home for Thanksgiving was a nice change but, then having to come and get re-adapted to living away from home is a challenge. Having my two best friends from home tell me they were not planning on living in New Jersey where we grew up throws me for a spin every time I think about it.
Realizing that I will be moving off campus next year is another big change that I am already thinking and worrying about. This past week, my anxiety has been at new levels I haven’t experienced this year at school yet. Maybe it was having to come back here and being homesick or the thought of growing up, I’m not sure. But after calling my mom 5 separate times on Tuesday, I have come up with a new plan on how to take things one day at a time.
She would always tell me to take it one day at a time. Though it always sounds like a good idea, it is easier said than done. The unknown scares me, I like knowing what is exactly is going and to happen, when and where. But lately what I have learned is that tomorrow is unknown. Even if I plan and think about everything that might and or will happen, it is still not 100% positive that it will all happen. So, like every person will finally realize, my mom was right. Taking it one day at a time works so much better. I can plan for tomorrow, but I have to be ready to adapt to things that might come and things that I might not get done. Trying not to over plan is definitely going to be a challenge, but taking it one day at a time and knowing everything will work out is some good steps in the right direction.