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Wellness

3 Ways to Master the “It is What it is” Mentality

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Laurier Brantford chapter.

Whether we’re talking about communication, daily struggles, or traumatic life experiences, I always like to believe that certain things happen because they are meant to. Regardless of any religious beliefs, spiritual beliefs, or no beliefs at all, I think everyone can agree that there are some things that happen just because they are supposed to. You don’t have to believe in a higher power, but energies are something everyone feels. 

No one can argue against the fact that there are so many instances that take place every day that are completely out of your own control – it’s just the way things are. A lot of people tend to stress about things that are unforeseen or in the past. What’s the point of stressing about something you can’t control or change? Here are a few tips to relax your mind, and work towards that “it is what it is” mentality! 

1. Don’t Panic! 

When you run into any sort of conflict, a number of things can occur. You’ll either freak out and start overthinking, find ways to feel sorry for yourself, or you will shut down altogether. By far, the most important thing to do at this point is to chill out. It’s a natural reaction. Humans typically dive into their flight instinct. You panic, try to figure out some random, temporary solution, and end up overwhelming yourself with the emotions and stress. When you interrupt that initial reaction, you allow yourself to think more clearly. Sometimes a resolution isn’t the most important thing when dealing with conflict, which leads us to my second point!

2. Put Yourself First 

Believe it or not, working towards that “it is what it is” mentality requires some self-care. As we have realized with recent world events, mental health is a constant struggle that everyone goes through. When it comes to choosing how to handle things, part of that evaluation I mentioned in the first point means deciding whether worrying about the issue at hand is going to benefit anything. Is it going to change the outcome? Is worrying going to help you? You need to be able to take a step back and realize when it’s time to walk away. Believe it or not, you have the ability to pick and choose what you allow to impact your aura. 

3. Accepting the Reality 

The biggest struggle in any situation is acceptance. The first step of healing is always simply accepting what happened. When you’re going through something, it’s important to evaluate. Can you change the circumstances? If the answer is no, why stress? You can’t change reality. If it’s out of your control, then why worry? A lot of people find difficulty with the idea of letting things play out without interfering, but sometimes that is what’s necessary. There’s no such thing as a power struggle with fate or the universe. 

Of course, everything is easier said than done. No one masters the control of their emotions right off the bat. There’s a saying that goes, “Do you have a problem? Yes? Okay, can you fix it? If you can, then why worry? If you can’t fix it, then why worry? If you don’t have a problem, then why worry?” Basically, worrying and overthinking is absolutely pointless and only hurts yourself. If you have the ability to fix something, great! You can work towards a resolution – everyone wins. If you can’t fix it, then it’s not your problem to be worrying about! It’s out of your control. If there’s no problem, even better! No reasons to stress yourself out over nothing. 

Mastering the “it is what it is” mentality takes a lot of personal conversations with yourself. No one can help you unless you help yourself. You have to be the one to calm yourself down when you have a troubled mind, but trust me, when you have it down, it is one of the most relieving things you could do for yourself. Good luck!

Petra Korkomaz

Laurier Brantford '22

Petra is a Criminology student and pursuing a Minor in Human Rights and Human Diversity. She has a huge love for sushi, animals, and taking pictures of anything and everything! Cats and horses are her ultimate weaknesses (#CatPerson). Outside of HerCampus, Petra is usually found hanging out with her friends, binge-watching Netflix or playing with her puppy and 2 kittens! (They're adorable)
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